Home
by Baby Darth Dalloway
Summary: It's been two years since the girls left Rosewood and A passed on. Now, Emily Fields is returning for summer vacay after her second year at Danby having not seen the girls since before she left. How is Emily going to cope with running into the girls again, cope with the memories of the past, and how will the girls handle all of the changes that have come into Emily's life. EMISON
1. Chapter 1

Home

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><p>Warning: I'm about to talk spoilers.<p>

I heard some spoiler that Season 7 is supposed to be, or might be, a fast forward season. As in the girls will be well into college, not sure if it's the first year only, their third year, I can't remember. I also don't have any evidence of this spoiler, so it could all just be talk. But that's what led me here. ^_^

The Glee premiere sang the song "Home" by Edward Sharpton and the Magnetic Zeroes and it tickled me. So that's the title of this fic, and the point of the story in many ways really. But anywho, on with the show!

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><p>BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP<p>

"Mmph." I just want to sleep in for the rest of the day, but I manage to move over and snooze my alarm for another five minutes. The blinds in my dorm are closed, assisting my need for slumber as they block out the light.

I hear a groan next to me and roll back over towards the center of the bed, wrapping my arms around the girl in the middle of it. She sighs and snuggles back into me, and while I love my cuddle time, I need to go for a run like every other morning.

I start dozing off, but once again, that insipid sound starts blaring throughout the room. So with a sigh, a kiss on my lover's shoulder, and one final groan, I roll out of bed and shut it off, slipping on my running gear and grabbing my shower caddy/ towel before heading out the door.

I drop my shower stuff off in the communal bathroom, and that's one thing I know I will not miss about dorm life. Finishing up my second year at Danby, I'm excited to move into a real apartment next year like most upperclassmen. A bunch of the girls on my swim team move into the swim house every year, and as a junior I normally would. However, I've only been on the swim team one year.

After the dust finally settled with the whole A debacle, all of us were more than ready to move on. Aria ended up getting into Hollis, Spencer UPenn, and Hanna made it into NYU, a shocker to all of us really. I think the most surprising thing that happened was my ability to get into Danby based on all of the community service hours I had stored up over the years, especially with a trip to Haiti and Honduras the last two summers. Needless to say, scholarships for community service can go a long way.

As my feet finally lead my outside and hit the pavement, I think back to my first meeting with the Danby coach when I enrolled freshman year. After giving him footage of my success in Rosewood, he saw a lot of potential in me. He decided that if I committed to rehab for my shoulder, and come back into the next swim season beating my best high school times, he would give me a slot on the team and would plan to save one. To say Coach Hofster became my swimming fairy godmother is an understatement. He helped me get through that first year.

It actually worked out really well. He introduced me to a few girls on the team, sophomores and juniors mostly. Some of the girls felt threatened and didn't like that I was receiving what they called "special treatment," but a few of the other girls were incredible and became fast friends.

If it weren't for me focusing on swimming and my two best friends, Lauren and Jen, I wouldn't have made it through that first year. Leaving Rosewood meant sorting through more baggage than a person collects in one lifetime, let alone a few years. When I said goodbye to Aria, Hanna and Spencer, it was incredibly heartbreaking. But at the same time, I think we were all ready to move on to new chapters. Everything that we had gone through became far too intense.

I wasn't able to go home last summer with the rest of the girls, but this upcoming summer I'm going to finally make it back for most of it. Plus, I'm moving out of my dorm and into an apartment, so I wouldn't have a place to live until the end of summer anyway. But still, so much has changed between all of the girls and myself. And I don't know how they're going to handle some of the other changes in my life.

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><p>Finishing an easy 3-mile run, I take off my jacket and let my bra and sweatiness be seen by the world. Some guys are walking out of the dorm, and of course they can't help but stare. Once they see my face and realize who I am, one of those "jock lesbians" at Danby, they frown in disappointment. This girl is definitely not interested, boys.<p>

Running up the stairs, I make my way into the shower stalls and am happy that most people are gone for summer vacation. I have one last final later today, and then I'll be making the two-hour trek back to Rosewood.

Stripping down and stepping into the hot shower, I feel the tension leave my muscles. I love water in all of it's forms, but nothing beats a shower that cleans all the salty sweat off your body. It's like a present after a workout well done.

Still, this shower isn't going to rid me of all the anxiety, and I pause thinking over what I'm about to face tomorrow, and possibly tonight if the girls are antsy. I have no idea how I'm going to explain everything.

_CREAK_

The door creaks open and I pause.

"Hello?"

No one responds, but I hear rustling as someone places their toiletries down and makes their way over. I see a pink towel flip over my door, and I smile, turning back around to face the water. Someone enters behind me, closing the door shut again, and I close my eyes as arms encircle my body, making me chuckle as the owner's head sleepily nuzzles the back of my neck.

"Good morning sleepyhead," I tease, a small smile on my lips.

"I still don't understand how you can be so active and peppy this early in the morning."

"Exercise, practice and routine," I say. "Maybe this will push you to run with me, and you won't get so grumpy in the morning."

She laughs at that, finally moving her head from my neck and twisting me around to kiss me soundly, water finally falling over her now.

"Or maybe," she says in between kisses. "You should find another form of exercise for our mornings. Exercise I would _thoroughly_ enjoy."

I chuckle at that. Some things never change. I move over and let her rinse, her long golden locks darkening as they dampen. She tilts her head back with a smirk.

"See something you like Ms. Fields?"

I cup her face and kiss her deeply. She knows just how to push my buttons, she always has really, and I can't help but want to put her in her place sometimes.

"Mmm, good morning to you too," she says, blue eyes twinkling. And before I know it, I'm forgetting that showers are for cleaning, as we spend the next hour making sure the both of us have a very good morning.

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><p>Finally managing to leave the shower, go to my exam and get to my dorm to finish packing, I sit down on my now bare mattress and take in the equally as bare walls. I can't believe it's already been two years. Life just seems to fly by. I look at my old roommates emptied half of the room, Tiffany having moved out days prior to head back west. All my boxes were shipped or stored yesterday, and now I just have duffle bags sitting everywhere.<p>

I stand up to look out the window of the beautiful campus. I'm really going to miss being here, even if it's just for a summer. It's been a beautiful little bubble, and I've remained happily secluded from the rest of the world.

The truth is that I tried to leave all of Rosewood behind. Out of everyone who kept contact, I was generally the hardest to get a hold of. At first it was because of swimming, and then over time I just didn't want to be reminded of everything that had happened, especially everything that had happened with _her_.

Once A was killed in a terrifying, final stand off, we all had to process and heal with the remainder of the summer. I chose to go to Honduras on a Habitat project, Spencer left early for UPenn and Hanna for New York, while Aria and Ezra traveled to London. The only person who had ended up staying around Rosewood was Alison, and she was less than pleased.

After we found out the cold, hard, truth that Alison was not Mona's murderer or A, we had to work hard to set her free and get her safe. She ended up running off as soon as she was free, leaving us all behind again. However, her and CeCe had teamed up with Detective Holbrook to discover if there A theory and Ali's twisted family secrets were true. They came back in the nick of time to save us all, and while A, who was also Alison's sister, ended up dying, it was a death we were happy to see.

But while we all ran off to get away, Alison remained in Rosewood. She tried reaching out to me on several occasions. My mom forwarded a dozen letters while I worked in South America. I couldn't bring myself to answer any of them. It hurt too much.

By the time I came back to the States, Alison was long gone. Her father had the house demolished and even had the yard dug up, apparently to make sure there were no remaining treasures. Jason had gone back to his house in Georgia, pretty devastated about his family and the fact he turned in his innocent sister. And as for Alison, well, the last I had heard was that she went to some private school in Pennsylvania, close to where her dad relocated his business. I only found out where exactly she was after-

"Hey Em."

I'm startled out of my thoughts as the door opens and shuts, blue eyes shining back at me curiously.

"What's got you so jumpy?"

I sigh out, shaking my head with a small smile.

"It's nothing," I reply, and she quirks an eyebrow at that as she slowly walks towards me.

"You should know that I always know when people are lying, but it's even easier when I'm around that person 24/7."

She finally reaches me, wrapping her arms around my neck and playing with my hair. I love when she's not in heels like this because I have a few inches on her.

"Soo, I ask again. What's going on? You've been distracted all morning."

I breathe out deeply and push gently on her hips, leading her to sit on the bed with me. I take her hand and stare at the floor.

"I've just been thinking about Rosewood, and going back there today. I don't know how this is going to go over."

I see her shift and nod slowly out of the corner of my eye. I put my elbow on my knee, chin in hand, as I look up at her. Her lips are pursed in thought as she stares outside.

"Do they even know you have a girlfriend?"

"I don't think so. Hanna always prods and asks, but Spencer and Aria are too polite to say anything. I think they always felt badly that I was the only one to leave Rosewood without a high school sweetheart."

She smirks at that and shifts, moving a leg to go over me as she straddles my lap, my hands supporting the back of her thighs while she wraps her arms over my shoulders. Even when she's in flats, faded jeans and a plain white t-shirt, her hair back in a bun with loose blonde curls framing her mostly bare face, I think she's the most beautiful girl in the world.

She leans in to kiss me deeply, and after a few moments pulls back to whisper, "Well, in some ways, I kind of am a high school sweetheart."

I smile, running my hands up and down her legs, pulling her back in for a kiss. I flip her over and onto her back, grinding myself into her, my tank and running shorts thin and her jeans creating a lot of delightful friction.

"Mmm, Em, the car should be here any minute."

And sure enough her phone goes off, making me sigh and bury my head into her neck. She reaches out and answers, talking briefly and nodding. I sit up and start grabbing the few things we have left to bring down.

Before closing the door, I smile fondly at the barren room. I'm sure as hell going to miss this place. She's waiting and smiling fondly at me.

"We'll be back before you know it."

I nod in response as we quietly make our way down the hall and stairs, out the door to the black Lincoln. The driver has the trunk open and the door to the back ready for us. We reach him and plop our bags next to him.

"Ms. DiLaurentis I presume?" the driver asks and she just sticks out her hand with a nod.

"You can call me Alison."

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><p>Who am I and what is happening? I don't know where this came from, well, no, I actually do know where this came from. A little Twitter action from Marlene giving me hope for later seasons of PLL containing lots of Emison, and also the fact season 7 may be a flash forward.<p>

I'm not sure what I want this to be. At first I was thinking a one-shot about 20-25 pages long, but I don't think I can cover everything in one go of it. I'm going to try and flesh this out a little bit, maybe a few chapters or so, going into the girls summer. I feel like so much drama would take place if this actually happened… and I wouldn't be surprised if it actually did happen. Anywho!

Read and review friends, reeeaaaddd and review. Until next time! ^_^


	2. Chapter 2

Home - Chapter 2

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><p>Notes: So I have no idea what POV all of these chapters will take. I intend to keep them either as Ali's POV or Emily's. I MIGHT go to third person omniscient, but we'll see. I'm literally just writing as it comes friends. Oh, but if you need me to clarify the perspective I'm writing in, let me know. I just kind of assumed y'all would naturally figure it out based on the writing, but I don't want to confuse anyone if that's not the case. Thanks!<p>

Now, on with the show.

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><p>I knew Emily was going to pass out on our drive back to Rosewood. We were up most of the night once she got done studying, and then she spent the rest of the morning working out, working out a little bit more, and then running through her materials for some last minute cramming. Add on all of the packing and cleaning, along with the obvious nerves for returning home, and I now have one Emily Fields sleeping with her head on my lap as we come within miles of Rosewood. This is going to be interesting.<p>

I have to say, once my father had our house taken apart and after finding more papers and letters of things I never wanted to know about, I had no desire to ever come back to this town.

Having all of your friends betray you is pretty heartbreaking, but it's more heartbreaking to realize that they believe you are so malicious, so downright evil, that you would actually murder another person and then blame them for it. To say going to jail broke me is putting it mildly. Jail was miserable. My friends and even my family members betraying me, was miserable. And then, Emily lying to me? That was probably one of the worst pains I've ever felt, right on up there with my own mother burying me alive.

Looking down at her sleeping face, I can't help but smile. She's adorable when she sleeps, always so innocent looking. I brush some of her loose dark strands out of her eyes and continue to play with her hair. She has every right to be nervous. It's not going to be an easy return.

After the girls helped get me out of jail, I knew I had to get out of town quickly and meet up with CeCe. The hard truths she had discovered long ago were ones I wasn't ready to hear but I needed to in order to bring everything to an end. Once Holbrook was brought up to speed, and A's attacks were becoming more and more sloppy with my sudden release, we were able to corner the bitch just before it was too late. I only wish she could have lived so I could pick her apart, lie by lie. There was so much she knew, though maybe I should be grateful for the secrets that will forever be buried with her. Sometimes, you really are better off without the truth.

Once everything was cleared up, when Tanner was brought up to speed and everyone in the town found out the horrible truth of what had happened over the years, my dad knew it was time to split. He was broken in his own way, my mother having kept many secrets from him. I think that's why he wanted the house destroyed. He didn't want anything else coming back to haunt him. Can't say I really blame him.

While we stayed in Rosewood to complete the demo for most of the summer, all of the girls left. Even after my innocence was proven and I had come forward about many of my horrible actions in the past, they all avoided me like the plague. CeCe ended up staying around to help me and was even the one to suggest I go to the private school she had attended years ago. Rosewood was not the place for me, and clearly I had no one left. So we made the proposal to my dad and he agreed to the move, him keeping an apartment in Philly for work and one in the town of my school for visits. CeCe was welcome to stay any time and by the end of summer, I had a new life and clean slate far away from Rosewood and the hysteria of A. Or at least, so I thought.

While I had sent over a dozen letters to Emily, her being the one I really wanted to make amends with the most, I had given up. It was heartbreaking. All of my time on the run had forced me to take a hard look at who I was and how I acted, and in that time, I realized the harder truth that I was definitely bisexual, or at least, Emily-sexual. Coming back to Rosewood the first time around was supposed to be our fresh start, and I truly believed it was, especially after our night together. But it turned out we were wrong, as usual, and the one night we had together turned into a distant memory as I packed up for Craftston Prep to complete my senior year.

During the summer while the girls were away, I was able to take classes that brought me up to speed enough so that I could enroll as a senior. After living such an intense lifestyle for so long, I was ready to get back into the real world. High school was almost like child's play. Some of the students of Craftston recognized me from local news, and all sorts of rumors flew around. I was lucky CeCe still had a few hookups with people in the area, and people at the local university. I got in with the "in-crowd" but I was content just being a member. If I learned one thing over the years it's that you don't need to be in the spotlight to dominate or be in control. In fact, it's much better when you're out of it. You can just work behind the scenes.

So the year rolled on. Before I knew it, October came around and I was finally feeling better. Maybe not happy or overly enthusiastic, but getting there.

"Mmph," Emily groaned, and I smirked. She was drained after this week. I hope the girls don't decide to surprise her with a welcome home party or anything because she is not ready.

"Rise and shine baby, we're maybe 10 minutes away."

Emily threw her hands over her eyes and groaned again.

"Just wake me when we get there."

"Okay," I whispered.

"Thank you," she mumbled sleepily, and she was out again. I chuckled.

I take a deep breath as I look out the window, our car finally passing the Rosewood welcome sign.

"Well, this is it," I whisper to myself.

The truth was that I had no idea how the girls were going to handle Emily and I being together. I had a feeling it wouldn't be good. They had no idea we had even run into each other, let alone that the boarding school I ended up at was the one in the town Danby was in. When Emily and I ran into each more than a year and a half ago now, it was completely unexpected. The memory makes me laugh. She was like a deer caught in headlights.

_Flashback…_

_CeCe was dragging me to this frat party, the current president being the little brother of a good friend of hers. CeCe really pulled out all the stops when it came to hooking me up in this new town. My private school was actually calm and once the scandal of who I was died down, people just accepted I was one of the new in-crowd members and went with it. _

_It wasn't just the boarding school though. CeCe made sure to hook me up with a few select and cool people around Danby's Greek scene to ensure I wouldn't be stuck in teenage boredom all year. Being the amazing friend she was, CeCe moved from Los Angeles back to Pennsylvania just to be with me this senior year while I adapted back into real life. She was taking classes at Danby herself, finishing up the degree I regrettably got her kicked off of pursuing while at UPenn. _

"_Ali, you need to pick up that pace girl. Jonathan is expecting us in all of our hot blonde glory, and we mustn't disappoint."_

_CeCe always managed to put a smile on my face, though now it was over calm and funny matters rather than the past manipulation and mischief we used to get up to. _

"_Okay, pause. What is with you mopey brown? We are going to THE Danby Halloween party where only the most elite of elite, or hottest of the hot go. You should be thrilled! What is going on?"_

_We paused just a block away from the party and I took a deep breath. I checked out CeCe's fabulous costume as Tinkerbell, a costume I normally reserved with those with terrible taste, but somehow her makeup artist friends back in the city of angels managed to make this look sexy, not trashy. And as for me, I found the sluttiest cop get up I could find. It was deliciously ironic, and I knew Jonathan would be thrilled. _

"_Al! Focus!"_

_CeCe grabbed me by the arms and gave me a little shake._

"_Honey, what is going on? I know better than anyone that Rosewood was a real-life version of Dante's Inferno, but you gotta stop killing yourself over this."_

_I took a deep breath and nodded. _

"_Is it something specific, Al?"_

_I shook my head._

"_No, it's not. I guess I just feel… distant."_

"_Distant," she repeats._

"_Yea… like I'm meeting all of these people, and people are falling in love with Alison DiLaurentis once again, and it's great but…"_

"_But…"_

_CeCe stared into my eyes and I just looked right back. We really did think alike._

"_You feel distant because you don't think anyone can understand what you went through and what you're going through."_

"_And the people who were supposed to understand it with me, they're gone," I finish for her. _

_She looks into my eyes with concern, and while we used to do fucked up things to one another, we're like sisters. Well, that's probably because we found out we really are sisters, but that's a story for another day. _

"_Look Ali. I get it. The only person I can talk to about all of that is you, and Jason too, but even he is distant. You have to accept that the people you meet, they may not have_ _lived through that with you, but they can understand the feelings you have about things. Whether that's remorse or guilt, anger or frustration, people will be able to connect with you. They can relate to the feelings even if they didn't live in the same situation."_

_I nod my head slowly again, my long and straightened blonde hair standing out against the dark blue of the uniform, a cute cop hat on my head. _

"_I just wish I didn't feel so alone, you know?"_

_She smiles softly at that._

"_I do. Believe me, I do. Let's just get to this party, loosen up and be a little crazy, and tomorrow we can talk more. We'll figure something out, we always do."_

_She brings me in for a hug._

"_I love you little girl," she says, beginning to tickle my sides, and I start giggling as I push her away. She beckons me with her glittered out arms, and I shake my head._

"_Hey CeCe?"_

"_Yes my dear?" she says, flitting back around. _

"_I love you too."_

_She rolls her eyes playfully, this whole idea of us opening up and learning to express our feelings being very new ground and territory. Fortunately, we were learning together. My long black leather boots gleam from the streetlights and I giggle, running to catch up and wrap my arm around hers as we head to the house._

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><p><em>The house is only a block away, and you can hear the music from about 10 blocks away at this point. I don't know how these frat boys manage to get all of their neighbors to comply for this once a year rager, but it looks like it's going to be amazing. I guess CeCe was right. <em>

_All along the streets we see people in costumes, many of them in the line to get in. Most people have to be connected to get into this party, but they have no shows like any event and charge a high entrance fee for those stragglers who don't have an in. CeCe and I walk right past the line and up to the giant security guard. We don't even have to give our names before he waves us in._

_The boys did an amazing job. The entire front yard is made of walls to a maze, that maze leading into the backyard or house depending on the route you take, and then into the_ _party. There's a giant pool in the back and you can feel the music making the ground shake beneath your feet. _

_We laugh our way through the maze, spooky traps popping out at every turn. We end up taking the path that leads into the house. There's a crowd of people, but all of a sudden, Dracula is waving at us with blood coming down his lip and his dark black hair greased back. Making his way through the crowd, this gorgeous Armenian-American, 6 foot 2 with a cape to go with it all bows deeply to CeCe and I._

"_Oh, cut it out Jonathan, or should I say Count?" CeCe flirts._

_He picks his head back up grinning, the pointy teeth poking out._

"_What can I say? You know vampires have a weakness for fairies."_

"_That's only in True Blood," I correct him jokingly, and we all laugh along._

"_You must be the infamous Alison," he says taking my hand and kissing it gently. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."_

"_Likewise," I reply with a smirk._

"_And might I say, how bold of you to wear a cop costume," he says with a chuckle, earning him a big grin from me. CeCe laughs along._

"_I thought she should wear a prison get up, but it turns out orange is not the new black." _

_We all chuckle, and Jonathan gestures us to enter deeper into the house. It's a four level mansion, complete with columns for every step along the wrap around deck. As the president, Jon gets the biggest suite at the top floor, and we follow him up to the top to get some privacy. _

_Two guys and a girl are up there playing video games when we enter and Jon just chuckles at them._

"_And these would be some of my good friends, also known as the stoners who come to parties to play my videos games."_

"_Um, can you blame us Jon? Look at this TV and surround sound," a girl pipes up, eyes slightly glossy. She's a gorgeous girl, and her accent suggests she's Spanish-speaking, along with her skin tone. On the black leather couch, she's snuggled up to a guy dressed like a Pharoh, her costume matching his in gold skirts and sandals._

"_Planning to introduce us Jonny-boy?" CeCe teases._

"_Of course, excuse me. Where are my manners? CeCe, this is Travis and Jen, and the other one over there on the video game chair is Charlie." _

_Charlie gives a brief wave, as does Travis. I recognized Travis as one of the wide receivers on Danby's football team; a fit black man who people say could go pro. Charlie is dressed like the angel Gabrielle, his long golden locks greased back. Jen is eyeing me in a confused manner._

"_Do I know you girls from somewhere?" she asks slightly high._

"_I don't know," CeCe replies. "I'm CeCe Drake and this is my sister, Alison DiLaurentis." _

_We shake her hand, and as she takes mine, she looks incredibly confused by me._

"_Can't say I remember you dear! But who knows, when you run in the same circles, you know everybody," CeCe says. _

_Jonathan is making his way back with cups in hand, providing us with his private stash. He fetches another cup for angel boy, and I quickly learn they are together. Ironic that the school's quarterback, who could also go pro, and the most popular frat's president, are both gay and together. _

"_No one knows about them except for the people in this room, and maybe a few others. It obviously would be scandal if they went public right now. They're waiting till Charles over there gets a secured spot in the pros," CeCe explains. _

"_So what about you Jen? What do you do on campus?"_

_Jen finally shakes her head out of her stupor and grins. _

"_I'm actually on Danby's swim team. You're in a room full of jocks and over achievers," she jokes and then goes back to staring at me deeply._

"_I'm sorry, Alison was it? I don't mean to stare, I just swear I've seen you before."_

"_Jen, don't you recognize her?" Jonathan speaks up, biting the bullet for us. "She's the girl from Rosewood, you know that whole story that broke out? Your friend probably mentioned her to you, that one you had me put on the guest list."_

_CeCe and I exchange looks because someone from Rosewood talking about Rosewood was never ideal. We turn back to Jen whose eyes have widened now and her jaw dropped. _

"_Oh my god, you're HER."_

_I snort._

"_Yea, yea, I'm the girl who went to jail and was innocent, comes from a crazy family. I'm like a living, breathing, soap opera."_

"_No, no. I mean yes, you're her, but you're her!"_

"_She's her WHAT there Mary Jane?" CeCe says, more ticked off than me at this point. _

_Before Jen can answer the question, the door is opened and two girls come stumbling inside. One's a tall girl with dirty blonde hair and freckles wearing what looks like a cat costume, and the other one-_

"_Emily?"_

_The words leave my mouth before I can stop them and I'm floored. Big brown eyes look up and get as frozen as mine. CeCe is looking back and forth between us, and she turns to Jonathan who looks slightly concerned._

"_You didn't think to mention you invited Emily Fields here?"_

"_I-I just knew she was some girl from Rosewood Cee, she's friends with Jen. I had no idea," he replied._

_Emily is in some super sexy wonder woman get up, her long black hair cascading down her body, 6 pack tight as ever. _

"_Um, can someone explain what's going on?" the blonde next to her says._

"_I- Excuse me," Emily says in a rush and she's gone. The stoners are still zoned out on their video game, while Jen looks deeply concerned. _

"_Ali, you okay?" CeCe asks, worry etched into her face._

_The dirty blonde girl hears my name and speaks up._

"_Ali? Wait, as in Emily's ex Ali?"_

_I whip my head back to her._

"_How is that any of your business?"_

_She holds her hands up in mock surrender. _

"_Woah, easy girl. Just trying to figure out why my friend is fleeing the scene." _

_She looks at us and breathes out._

"_Look, I'm going to go find her and make sure she's okay. I'm Lauren, by the way," she explains and then makes a hasty exit. _

"_Here, ladies, let's go over here," Jonathan ushers us to the other side of his master suite where his bar and king sized bed are. CeCe sits me on the bed and rubs my back. I feel completely numb and cannot believe Emily is here, at Danby._

_Jonathan brings another cup of alcohol around for both CeCe and I, and I know she's already thinking it will be a long night._

"_Hey, I want you to know that my couches pull out into beds, and if you need a safe space to crash, or cry, they have your name written on them."_

_I look up and Jonathan is probably one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen, and I just give him a small smile._

"_Thanks. That's really nice of you."_

"_What are friends for dear?" he says with a wink. _

_At that point, Jen walks back over, seemingly a little less stoned._

"_I'm so sorry about that ladies. I couldn't for the life of me remember who you were."_

"_You, Travis and Charlie need to go easy on the pot brownies there doll face," Jonathan jokes, earning him a punch on the shoulder. _

"_So, you're friends with Emily I take it?" CeCe asks as I swig more alcohol._

"_Uh, yea. She's a freshman here. I'm a junior and so is Lauren. We're all on the swim team together, or, well, we will be once Emily's shoulder heals all the way."_

_I nod slowly and take everything in. _

"_She talks about me, to you guys?"_

_Jen looks a little uneasy at the question, but she takes one look at the saddened features on my face and I can tell she sympathizes with me._

"_She didn't really at first, but Lauren and I have kind of taken her under our wing. Some of our teammates haven't been happy about Emily's arrival because they think she's getting special treatment but, um…_

"_She told us some stuff, just that her heart was broken by a beautiful blonde. Eventually we found out she was one of the girls involved in that whole, um, scandal, and she told us you were the one she loved."_

_I bite my lip at that and continue to nod slowly._

"_Look Ali, do you want to go? I don't think we need any drama."_

"_Hey, no!" Jen speaks up. She gets down on her knees in front of CeCe and I, and while she is still slightly stoned, you can tell she's with it._

"_Look, I only read the stories from the news and heard Emily's side of things, but look girl, you've moved on. She's moved on. All the people in this room have secrets and baggage. And yea, we might not all be newsworthy," she says looking up at Jonathan with a knowing look that makes him smile. "But we're not about the drama. I know Emily was hurt by everything, and I'm sure she's just shocked."_

"_She never wanted to see me again. I think it's safe to say it's more than shock."_

_Jen smiles at me sadly._

"_Well, all I know it that she still has letters you sent from the summer. So for what it's worth, I don't think it's coming from a place of hatred."_

_My head shoots up at her little revelation, and I nod slowly._

"_See Ali? Maybe things aren't going to be all doom and gloom after all," CeCe says reassuringly. _

_I look around at these three faces and start to tear up. I didn't think I'd be able to find kindness in strangers like this. Jen sees the tears, and being the softhearted person I later found her out to be, she takes me in her arms with CeCe and they hold me until I calm down._

* * *

><p><em>After a good long cry, Jonathan demands we make a grand entrance downstairs. After more tequila shots than I should ever have, we go down the stairs together in pairs. CeCe and I joke about being Charlie and Jonathan's beards, and CeCe got me laughing when she was offended that Jonathan wanted me as his date and not her.<em>

"_Excuse me? I'm a fairy! I am MAGICAL."_

"_Yea Cee, but I have the handcuffs," I say, feeling completely loose and carefree. Everyone's laughing as we make it down to the ground floor. The party is in full swing by this point, it barely being midnight. _

_Being on Jonathan's arm is amazing. It's been a while since I've been the belle of the ball, but everyone is staring at all of us. In general, we're a pretty sexy group. We get on the deck where the DJ is playing and the back yard is filled with gyrating bodies. Even some floaters are in the pool, but with all the body heat being created at this bash, it's not a surprise people are able to keep warm. Jonathan leads us all over to the DJ booth and he whispers something in the dude's ear to get him to stop the music._

_Jonathan takes a microphone and grabs everyone's attention._

"_Ladies and gentleman! Welcome to Lambda Chi Alpha's annual Halloween Bash!"_

_The crowd is going wild and I look down the line at our group. Jen gives me a wink at the end of the line and Charlie just nudges me, as he convinced himself he's my gay twin for the evening. I grin at them all, the five of us enjoying the special attention. Never did I think I would be able to make it into a spotlight like this by being the nice one._

"_Are you all having a good time tonight? Wait, I'm sorry, I can't hear you. What I asked was, are you all having a good time tonight?"_

_The crowd below is going nuts now, hundreds of people in this yard and house. Again, I'm in awe they get away with this. _

"_I'm glad to hear that. As the first junior to become a Lambda president, I want to ensure we are getting everything done right."_

"_I'd like to make a special thanks to all of the brothers that helped us out tonight. A special cheer to two of the fellows up here with me tonight, Charlie and Travis, who will be taking Danby to quarterfinals next week!"_

_Another scream from the crowd._

"_And of course, to three special lovely ladies joining me tonight, Jen, CeCe and Alison. It's been a true pleasure. Give them a round please."_

_People start cheering for all of us. I can tell many of them know Jen, some older people know CeCe, and there are some who are just sober enough to ask where they remember me from._

"_And now my friends, it is time for a little spooky fun. What would Halloween be without ghosts, monsters, things that go bump in the night? Huh? Well, my personal favorite growing up was the good old-fashioned witch, and would you like to know why? Well, I can tell you. You see witches are famous for their cauldrons, and what happens in cauldrons? That's right friends, we brew things."_

_As he says this, a catering squad from a local brewery is coming around with hundreds of cups for everybody._

"_We couldn't have done this party without the help of the Magic Hat micro-brew, you guys are amazing. And so let's drink up a little bit of this witch's potion and get back to the party!"_

_Everyone starts screaming and Jon pats the DJ on the back to start back up. We all get beers passed down to us and takes swigs, and for once I'm liking a beer since it doesn't taste like watered down piss._

"_This is the good stuff my dear, we don't do cheap Budweiser here," Jonathan jokes in my ear. _

_I grin back at him and we cheers, chugging till it's all gone. I suddenly feel the urge to hug Jonathan and end up doing so._

"_Thank you for being a wonderful human being," I mumble into his ear, on my tippy toes to reach._

_He pulls back from the hug with a grin, and goes to cup my face. He pecks me on the lips quickly, a friendly endearment between to LGBT cases, and holds my face._

"_Darling, you're a wonderful human being too. I just don't think you've realized it yet."_

_I give him a soft smile and go to peck him on the cheek, making him laugh. _

"_Alright lovebirds, stop bearding each other up and let's go dance!" Jen yells jokingly, CeCe wrapped around her too. I grin at the both of them, and even though this night started with some pain, I think it can end with some unforgettable memories, and maybe even some friendships. We make our way down the steps and into the crowd, our own bodies getting lost in the rhythm of the dance floor._

* * *

><p><em>After an hour of dancing my little tush off, I tell CeCe I need the bathroom. Jen says she has to go to and we walk hand in hand into the house and head upstairs. <em>

"_We're using Jon's room, I don't even want to know what the toilets downstairs look like," she says, making me laugh hard. _

_We're both incredibly tipsy by this point and Jen fumbles with the extra key Jon leant her. We finally stumble into the room and I rush into the bathroom first._

"_Beat ya!" I shout through the door._

"_Oh, you'll get yours DiLaurentis," she screams back giggling. _

_Jen seems like an old soul. She's kind, herself, and is incredibly non-judgmental. I'm glad I met this group of misfits tonight. They're something else._

_I'm about to flush the toilet when all of a sudden hear voices outside. I pause and put my ear against the door, eavesdropping on whatever is taking place out there._

"_So after everything I've told you, you're now all of a sudden best friends with the girl that broke my heart Jen?"_

_It's Emily. That much is certain. I don't think she realized I was in the bathroom with the way she's speaking._

"_Emily, no. Look, it's not's like that sweetie," Jen tries, but Emily is having none of it._

"_All I wanted is to escape Rosewood and find friends here who I can rely on, and in one night you're already best pals with her? I told you what she put me through!"_

"_Emily, there are two sides to every story. You need to calm down."_

"_Two sides!? She broke my heart!"  
><em>

"_And you broke hers!"_

_Emily goes dead silent and I'm leaning on the door, my heart pounding. I don't know why Jen is sticking up for me, a girl she barely knows and has only heard things about me from newspapers and the mouth of my sort-of ex. But the room is quiet._

"_Ali!" Jen calls, and I know that's my cue to enter. I sigh, shaking my head to myself as I flush the toilet and do a quick hand wash, because I know Emily will be upset I heard any of this. I open the door slowly while attempting to keep my face poised. I have no idea where this is going to go, and with my head tilted down, I look up to see and exasperated Wonder Woman completely shocked that I'm here._

"_What the hell is this?" Emily asks, turning back to look at Jen. _

_I can tell she's hurt, and she's more sensitive because it's me talking with her friend._

"_We ran upstairs to go to the bathroom Emily, and I need to go, so can you wait out here and relax please?" Jen speaks ever so calmly, her eyes imploring Emily to comply, and I'm surprised by how much she sobered up. I'm also grateful I just danced so much of that alcohol out of my system, because this is not a time I want to be drunk for._

_Emily is staring her down, but eventually crosses her arms and let's Jen go with a quick nod._

"_Thank you," Jen replies softly with a small smile, and walks past me into Jon's bathroom, giving me reassuring eye contact as she enters. _

_I don't know why Jen is being so kind, because if it were my friend, I probably would have poured beer on me hours ago. But this group seems like a kind bunch and as glad as I am that I found them, I'm happier that Emily has them, especially since she's here on her own._

_I look up at Emily finally and she's staring me down intensely. I stare back just as hard though because the truth is that Emily betrayed me on an incredibly deep level, and even after that, I was the one who reached out to no avail. I won't hurt her, but I'm also not going to let her stand there as if I'm the only one who has done anything wrong._

"_Did you come to this party just to spite me?"_

_She finally speaks and I scoff at her._

"_CeCe dragged me here Emily. I didn't even know you went to this school. You kind of stopped speaking to me months ago if you don't remember?" _

_I know my response is snarky, but how dare she assume I'm up to my old tricks, though not that I didn't want to. Everyone at my boarding school knows I don't have social media at the moment as I want to wait a while before I commit to anything online related. I made a conscious effort that killed me everyday to not look this girl up, to just let her go._

"_Well then what are you doing at a Danby frat party? I thought you didn't have enough credits to even be a senior?"_

_I roll my eyes at her, crossing my own arms._

"_I go to Craftston. CeCe went here and she proposed the idea to me, and my dad supported it. I thought you got my letters Emily?"_

_She furrows her brow in question, but then blushes, and I realize that when Jen mentioned Emily had my letters, she forgot to mention Emily had not yet read them._

"_I never read them."_

"_Yet you still have them."_

_Her head whips up at this and I eye her knowingly._

"_Jen told you that?"_

"_Well, she failed to mention the part where you didn't read them, so color us both surprised," I reply, and I turn back to the door, not hearing a sound from Jen._

"_Jen! Are you alive in there?" I yell at the door, and I hear her mumble something to herself, having obviously been caught at eavesdropping. _

_She flushes the toilet and opens the door before washing her hands._

"_How is everything going out here?"_

"_I don't know Jen, I just found out from Ali that you were talking about me to her?"_

_I see Jen roll her eyes, and I can tell she loves stubborn Emily as much as I do. She finishes washing her hands, and Jen walks out after primping herself in the mirror. She looks pissed off now and I don't say another word, not sure where this is going to go._

"_Emily Fields, have I not been your friend since the coach introduced us back in August?"_

_She looks at Emily pointedly as she approaches her slowly. Emily looks taken aback by the question, but replies._

"_N-no, I mean yes. Yes you have, but-"_

"_And when all the other girls on the swim team were taking to gossiping about you and calling you privileged and the coach's suck up, did I also not have your back?"_

"_Yes, Jen. I know, but-"_

"_AND, when people started finding out you were part of that Rosewood scandal, who told them all to shut up and who offered you their friendship and protection and other awesome friends to surround yourself with? Did I not do that?"_

"_Okay, Jen, I get your point-"_

"_No, Emily, you don't get my point."_

_Jen is standing a foot away from Emily now, and she's all tough love. Emily is surprised, but being the sweet girl she is, I see the guilt in her eyes. Jen may be a bit shorter than Em, but she's still dominating the situation. I knew I was going to like this girl._

"_I don't know Alison. I met her tonight, and the rest of what I know is from you and the news. I know what she did to you. I also know bits and pieces of what happened to her. And lastly, I know this girl broke your heart."_

_She turns back to me now._

"_Alison. I haven't heard the best things about you, and I'll be real about that. But," and she turns back to Em, "I saw the look on this girl's face when you came and went. I don't know what the truth of your story is together ladies, but avoiding it isn't going to help anybody."_

_She takes Emily's hands and gets right in front of her._

"_There's a reason why you didn't read those letters, and there's also a reason why you also chose to hold onto them Ems."_

_Emily's jaw clenches and her eyes flash briefly to mine, and I know she doesn't want to give me any satisfaction as I hear the truth of this._

"_I think at the very least you two should have a conversation. You'll both be in this town and around this campus for the next year, and you're going to bump into one another…. At least give the girl a chance to speak."_

_Jen is staring into Emily's eyes, though I can't really see her expression from this angle. I can tell Emily is fighting with herself. She hasn't just been avoiding me. She's been avoiding all of the feelings concerning me too. I can't say I'm surprised. _

_Jen let's go of Emily's hands and turns back to me._

"_I like you DiLaurentis, you could be a hell of a lot of fun," she says with a smirk, and I underestimated how serious and mature this girl was. "But if you hurt this one again, don't think there will be a second chance."_

_Jen gives me a serious look and I look back at her and then flicker to Emily, eventually nodding and looking away. I see out of my peripheral that Jen pats Emily shoulder and heads to the door._

"_Don't forget to lock it on your way out ladies," she calls over her shoulder, and shuts the door behind her as she heads back to the party. _

_What a night._

_Emily and I stay silent for a while, both of us not looking at each other and both unsure of what to say. I can sense Emily barely knows what to do as she seems more blind-sided by this than I am. I think she was planning to avoid this encounter the rest of her life if she could. I turn to look at her and catch her staring at me now, trying to figure out what to say. I decide now is as good a time as ever._

"_You kept my letters, but you also didn't read them… why bother keeping them then? If you hate me that much, why not just throw them away?"_

_She takes a deep breath through her nose, and I'm surprised that she's looking more emotional than I am. I don't want to hurt her, but I'm also feeling hurt. It seems we both don't know how to be good to one another._

"_I was avoiding."_

"_Avoiding what?"_

_She stays silent, like she's fighting with herself. She takes another breath and shakes her head, running her hand through her hair._

"_God, I never thought I would see you again," she says, and it's almost like it's to herself. She goes to sit on Jon's bed, coming closer to me. She hunches over her legs, and I keep looking down at her._

"_When you were doing bad things to people Ali, did you ever catch yourself feeling like you needed to be right, even if you weren't?"_

_I frown at that._

"_I don't understand the question," I reply, and she sighs, sitting more upright and rubbing her hands up and down her legs._

"_I mean that, did you ever need yourself to be right, desperately so, that you avoided the truth that you were probably wrong?"_

"_Of course. A lot of what I did I thought was justified, until I realized it wasn't."_

_She nods slowly._

"_I was so convinced you were A… I was convinced that you were lying, about everything. And then when we found out the truth, I just…"_

_She shakes her head and her face scrunches in pain. I wait patiently as she takes a deep breath, trying to figure out how to articulate herself in the right way._

"_I couldn't believe you had actually changed because that would mean acknowledging that I still had feelings for you, and those feelings were actually being returned, and then that meant…"_

_She looks back up at me know, and she's smiling, one of those ironic smiles where she's in disbelief of herself and the overall irony of the world._

"_It meant I had to actually put myself out there, REALLY, out there. It meant that you and I had a chance and getting involved with you like that, for real, I just… I couldn't handle the possibility that you would be with me and hurt me deeply like that again."_

_I look at her now and it's finally making sense. At first, I believed that Emily hated me like the other girls. That even though I wasn't A or a murderer, I was still the bitch they knew from long ago and wanted nothing to do with. But hearing Emily speak, I finally understood why she avoided me, why she held back so much when I first returned. _

_I had ripped her heart out, and she could not handle getting involved with me for real a second time around and having that pain occur tenfold all over again._

_I go over to the bed and Emily is holding her face in her hands as I sit down next to her, my hand going to her back._

"_I get it, Em. Believe me, I do. I was terrified of what I felt for you when we were younger. I couldn't stand the thought of being vulnerable like that, especially when I was so hell bent on being in control of everyone else around me."_

_She wipes her eyes and looks at me as I speak._

"_I came back for you. I saved your life twice. And then when I came back to Rosewood, when I thought A was really gone, I was trying to be open with you. I didn't want to hold back any longer after everything we went through."_

_I take a deep breath and lean away from her, both of our bodies facing the wall now._

"_I know I hurt you. I know I hurt a lot of people. But after everything I had to go through Emily, just to stay alive? I don't want that life anymore. I don't want to be that person. And I'm not. I work everyday just not to be."_

_I turn back to her and I see her face crumble as she let's out more tears, turning to look away from me._

"_I put you away Ali. I just left you," she whispers. _

_And it's true. She did abandon me when I needed her. She thought I was a murderer and helped put me behind bars. Our relationship was fucked up, to say the least about it._

_But at the end of the day, I know Emily Fields. I know she's a sweetheart. I know she's loyal, she believes in the good in everyone, and that she has the biggest heart I've ever seen. I know that this girl would never hurt me intentionally, would never do something so heinous if she didn't believe that I was truly evil. And while it hurts like hell to know the girl I loved, the girl I love, ever saw me in that light, I also know I'm partly to blame. My past actions led them all to think that way about me._

"_It's okay Em."_

"_No. NO it's not Ali," she says, her head whipping back up with tears in her eyes. _

"_Partners, friends, whatever, people who love each other don't do that to one another. I just left you!"_

"_It's not like I ever gave you a reason not to, Emily."_

_She takes a deep breath again, shaking her head, and I grab her hands._

"_We all screwed up Emily, and whether that was me being a jerk before A appeared, or you guys not believing me when A came around, it's done."_

_She looks at me again and I hold her hands tightly._

"_I don't want to think about Rosewood or the past or what happened anymore. I learned from my mistakes. I know that I learned karma's lesson, Emily. I went through hell and I had to learn from every mistake I made, every horrible thing I did. I had to learn the hard way, and it was awful._

"_But I also know I will never be like I was again. I can't go back after everything that transpired, just like you can't forget what you experienced. I just want us to have a chance to move forward, whether that's as friends or something more, I want to sort through all of this and then let it settle because I-"_

_I choke on a sob and feel tears I didn't even know were coming._

"_I just can't carry this with me anymore. It's unbearable."_

_I shudder out a deep breath and pull one of my hands from her, taking off my hat and wiping under my eyes. She's searching my face, and we're both a teary mess. The truth of A and everything came out months ago, but the truths we held between one another other, about each other, were only just coming to the surface._

"_I don't want to hold on either, Ali."_

_I clench my jaw and nod, looking back to her. Is this how it's really going to end? Forgive and just, forget?_

"_I understand."_

_I get up because I can't handle this any longer. I guess part of me thought along the same lines as Em, that we would never see each other and therefore never have to have this conversation._

"_No, Ali," she says, making me pause and turn back to her._

_She looks up at me._

"_I don't know how to go about this, but I don't want you out of my life again. Not after seeing you tonight… you seem so different, but still the same."_

_I smiled at that, as I felt exactly the same._

"_Me too," I whispered out. _

_Emily nods slowly, and goes to stand with me, looking me in the eyes. _

"_I think we should meet up and talk about things, maybe this week? Just… take things slow. I don't want to-"_

"_I get it," I reply a smile playing on my lips. _

_The truth was I didn't want to hop into anything either. Everything was too raw. I needed to build solid relationships first, and if that meant starting out repairing the damage between Emily and I as friends, then so be it. Better this chance than none at all._

"_Why don't we plan for Sunday? That gives us tomorrow to relax and not be hungover," I say, chuckling. _

_She smirks and nods, both of us obviously still buzzed but also exhausted._

_I pull out my phone and hand it to her, and she takes it knowingly to enter her number. She sends a text to her phone from mine, giving my number to herself. She looks up at me, and we just hold each other's gaze for a moment. Before I know it, she's leaning in to hug me. I let her pull me in to her embrace, my body melting into hers. I fit just right in her nook, my nose always landing perfectly on her shoulder._

"_I'm glad I ran into you tonight," I say, and she just nods in response._

_Eventually, we pull apart, and while everything is still very uncertain, I'm just glad we've had this moment to meet again, to possibly connect. _

"_I'm gonna head back downstairs," she says, and I let her take a step past me._

"_Jonathan said I could stay in his room for the night. I think I'm just going to crash here."_

"_I'm glad you got to meet him. He's a really sweet guy."_

"_Yea, I really like him. I hope I get to know him better."_

_She smiles and before she makes it to the door, I call out._

"_Hey Em?"_

"_Yea," she says, pausing at the open door._

"_I don't want to ask you to lie, I just…"_

"_What is it?"_

"_I'd like it if you didn't tell the other girls about this. I'd just like for us to work out our stuff, and I don't care what you tell your friends here, they're really nice. But, unlike the others-"_

"_They don't know the old you," she finishes. _

"_I'm trying to start fresh… I just know what they'll say."_

"_They're going to tell me to not speak to you," she says, looking at me in a matter of fact manner._

_I press my lips together, and before I think the worst she speaks up again._

"_I haven't really been speaking to the other girls. I didn't need space from just you… I kind of needed it from everyone," she says, making me look surprised and feel a bit reassured. _

"_I don't think it's their business for now. I don't want any drama anymore either Ali. I just want to move on."_

_I smile._

"_Me too."_

_She gives me a look right before leaving._

"_I'm glad I ran into you tonight too, Ali… I did miss you."_

_And with that she nods her head and bows out of the room, leaving me to feel completely stunned at what just happened, unsure of what was to come but still happy that at the very least, positive things were on the horizon._

* * *

><p>"Ms. DiLaurentis, is this the right street I have?"<p>

I'm snapped out of my reverie as the driver speaks to me. I look outside and notice the night is veiling the street. I see Emily's house right up ahead and am relieved that it looks like only Pam is home.

"That's it up there Jared, thank you."

He puts the block back up for privacy, and I lean my head down to Emily's ear, placing soft kisses on it as I feel the car pull to a stop.

"Baby, we're at you're parents house."

She begins to stir, and I breathe into her ear softly in between kisses until she becomes more conscious. She finally turns her head into my kisses, her mouth meeting mine, and I feel her smiling into the kiss, making me smile in return. She opens her big brown eyes and sits up, her back to the door as she turns towards me to look out the window.

We see Pam Fields come outside, Emily's father following with his hands in his pockets. Emily had told her parents about us after about a year of dating, wanting to make sure we were secure, stable and serious before bringing them into anything. I didn't blame her at all, and Pam had actually grown into a mother figure I deeply appreciated.

I opened the door as Jared pulled out our bags, Emily's dad grabbing them and taking them into the house for us while Pam showered us in hugs and kisses. I was surprised at how quickly Mama Fields warmed up to me, but then again, I had to prove myself over nearly two years of steady dating.

"How was the trip girls?" she asked, and Emily smiled as her mom kept her arms around her while we walked into the house.

"It was nice," she replied, making me snort.

"Nice because you slept the entire ride," making Mrs. Fields laugh.

"I was tired! I still had an exam today," she said blushing, her mom kissing her forehead.

"Well, I hope you're not too tired," she said as walked up the porch and into the house. I noticed that only the entrance light was on.

"Why mom?" I heard Emily asked, and before I knew it-

"SURPRISE!"

The lights all turned on and over a dozen people were littered throughout the Fields house, wishing Emily a welcome home. Emily's mouth dropped and eyes grew wide, along with mine, as many Rosewood friends were there to welcome her home.

As I looked into the dining room, I saw an equally as shocked Spencer, Toby, Aria, Ezra, Caleb, Hanna, and Paige, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"Alison?" I heard Hanna practically yell.

Emily's head snapped towards mine as I gripped my purse tightly, Mrs. Fields looking between us both before asking, "Emily? Did they not know?"

Spencer was walking forward, eyes flitting in between us and I took a deep breath. This was going to be one long vacation.

* * *

><p>Hey everyone! So, this turned into something I did not expect. The flashback was super fun to write, and I almost wish I wrote more of the party, but tell me how you guys like these characters and if you want more flashbacks featuring them.<p>

I hope the writing was okay…. I kept going through the Emily/ Ali dialogue, and I felt like it turned out okay, but I know there was not a resolution within that sole dialogue. I just believe that it's going to take more than one conversation for them to make amends and understand one another. Call me a hard ass if you wish. ;D

Read and review! I really need the feedback on this one so I know what direction to take. And also, I have never had a Beta, so I apologize for the poor grammar and what not. Thanks guys!

Until next time! ^_^


	3. Chapter 3

Home- Chapter 3

* * *

><p>I should have known not telling the girls was going to create a stir, but I had been putting off, what had now become my current reality, how they would feel for a long, long, time. Now, standing here with all of them staring at Ali and I, as if a mystical unicorn had just appeared, I realized this summer was not going to go as smoothly as I had anticipated.<p>

"Wh-What… what is Alison doing here?" Spencer spoke up, after Hanna's brash declaration.

"Why hello to you too Spence," Ali replied, and while I would normally shake my head at her sarcastic retorts, now was not the time she should be engaging in battle of the sarcastic wit.

The silence that followed hung heavy in the air, like an obvious elephant in the room. I pulled away from my mom and shot her a look, and Pam being the ultimate host, caught on quickly.

"Alright everyone, why don't we move into the dining and living rooms for cake! Give these girls a chance to settle in."

The crowd of people started dispersing, many girls who I used to swim with, some other friends or family friends I grew up with, but my core group of support over those last few years at Rosewood, they remained shocked. Aria seemed to recognize how awkward all of this was, and she quickly disentangled from Ezra to walk around the others to get to me.

"Hey, Em," she said with all sincerity, pulling me in for a big, long hug. "It's really good to see you, it's been too long."

She pulled back and stood in front of me.

"Yea, it's kind of hard to believe how fast time flies."

Aria gave me a reassuring smile, and as the one person in the group who tried to play peacekeeper, she looked over to Alison and spoke up.

"Hey Ali. It's nice to see you too."

I turned to look at my girlfriend who seemed to be in a tense stare off with Spencer and Hanna, all of their arms crossed and the expressions on their faces stern. Ali realized she was being spoken to, and her features softened as she took in Aria.

"Thanks. I'm glad to see you too."

Ezra decided to walk over, joining Aria and pulling me in for a hug, as Aria went to hug Alison, the couple trying to diffuse all of the tension with the rest of our group there.

"Why don't we do cake? Sit down and relax?" Ezra asked.

Aria came back and took my arm, pulling me into the house, Hanna, Spencer, Caleb and Toby shuffling ahead of us as Ezra kindly welcomed Alison as well, walking with her into the house.

"So how was the drive?" Aria asked, as we went deeper into my home.

There were so many groups, Paige with the group of girls we used to swim with.

"It was good. I slept almost the entire time."

She nodded, and before I knew it, I was thrust into the throngs of people, making my rounds and saying hi to friends and family, some of whom I hadn't seen in years. Hugging Spencer and Hanna had been awkward, both of them clearly happy to see me but also incredibly tense, Hanna giving me a look saying that we would definitely be sharing words later. This was not how I intended to break the news to them, but it seemed like nothing in Rosewood ever unfolded the way you wanted it to.

My eyes kept flitting over to Alison, and I was grateful Ezra had kindly been chatting with her and my mother. This party was a welcome home for me, and I knew Alison was probably not the happiest camper as she was clearly unwelcome on several fronts. I was happy we had told my parents ages ago. My mom had warmed up to Alison, though it had taken quite a while.

At least my mom and dad, and it seemed now Ezra and Aria, could be safe havens during the party. Alison looked up at me as I watched her, giving her signature smirk and a wink. I chuckled to myself, but she could tell it was towards her. Coming back to Rosewood in jeans and a t-shirt? Probably not the entrance she wanted either.

The night continued in much the same way, and after an hour or so, people began filing out slowly. As I was talking with one of the girls from my old swim team, I felt a hand slide onto my shoulder and I turned to look up at brown eyes I used to look into more often than not.

"Hey Emily," Paige said with a small smile.

"Hey," I replied, going in to give her a friendly hug.

"So, how's Danby treating you? It's a shame you guys didn't make it to finals this year, we would have ended up facing off with you."

While Danby and Stanford were both Division I schools, because of the different conferences we were in, we would probably rarely, if ever, swim against one another as most teams stick to competing within their conference. Stanford ended up going all the way to finals this last season, and while my team had made it to finals in our conference, we ended up losing.

"Yea, it would have been something else to swim against you again," I said with a chuckle. "But everything is going really well. Danby was the right choice for me."

Paige nodded slowly, her eyes going over my shoulder and I could tell she was looking at Alison. Danby wasn't the only right choice in my life, and while I wouldn't say it to Paige's face, I could see she was thinking it all on her own.

"I'm glad. It's a great school and program."

"Yea…"

She took a deep breath and searched my eyes, and I just hoped this wasn't going to go to an uncomfortable place. I could practically feel Ali's eyes burning a hole in my back.

"So, I'm here for most of the summer too, going to be training a lot in the old Sharks pool. I'd really like to catch up, you know? It's been too long."

"It has. Why don't we try to get together next week, after I'm all settled in and everything?"

"That'd be great. Anyway, I better run, it's getting late," she replied, going back in for one more hug. "I'll talk to you later this week."

"Sounds like a plan," I reply, beaming at her.

She paused once again, searching my face as her hands slid up to hold my upper arms.

"I'm really glad I got to see you... I missed you."

I tensed, and I knew she was being sincere, I knew we had left things off with her running on to a plane, never to be seen or heard from again. I didn't want to go backwards though. I internally prayed this would not create a mess for the summer.

"You too, Paige."

She gave one last big smile and then headed for the front door. I saw her pause and say thank you to my mother, Alison still standing next to her and Ezra, shooting me a pointed look briefly before her eyes went back to giving Paige her version of a "welcoming" to Paige. As Paige pulled away, I saw her freeze looking at Ali before finally moving away and I could only imagine what Alison would tell me later.

I watched Alison's eyes follow her out and decided to walk over to her. She had barely gotten any time with me tonight, and I couldn't help but feel guilty that she wass not feeling the most welcome in the place she's supposed to be spending her summer.

"Hey sweetie," my mom said as I walked up. "Everything alright?"

"Yea, yea, everything's fine. I'm just going to steal Ali for a minute, if that's okay?" I posed to the group, but looked at her to check in.

The tension in her face visibly released and she put her cup down on the counter, taking my extended hand.

"We'll be right back," I said, leading Ali down the hallway and outside onto the front porch where it entirely secluded.

I shut the door behind me as we got outside, Alison walking further onto the deck and taking deep breaths, eventually going to sit on the whicker sofa.

"I'm sorry about all of this. I had no idea my mom would plan a whole party, Ali."

"Em," she said, shaking her head slowly, waving the comment off. "Don't apologize for having a surprise party. Your mom thinks the world of you, I'm glad she did it."

"Still… I know it's not the most comfortable situation."

Alison snorts at that.

"You think?" she says.

I could tell she was exhausted, it having already been a long day with packing, the drive, etc. And then to have people who wanted nothing to do with her glare daggers at her most of the evening? Not the best time.

"You and Aria seemed to be getting along though."

"That's only because she knows Spencer and Hanna are imagining all the ways they could dismember me and get away with it right now. It's not like we're going to be best pals. She and Ezra are just the only ones mature enough to keep the peace."

Alison sighed, her hands traveling up to undo her messy bun, her long golden locks spilling over her chest and shoulders. She ran her fingers through her hair, shaking the pieces loose.

"It's not your fault Ali. I was the one who chose not to tell them."

"Actually, I was the one who asked you, remember?"

"Right, but I'm the one who kept it a secret from them and I'm the one who still has a relationship with them. I set us up for this," I replied, going to sit down on the chair with her.

I sighed and rubbed my thighs, unable to believe how long this day had been. Ali could sense my tension too, her hand going from her hair to back and rubbing softly.

"Em," she whispered, her hand moving to travel under my shirt and up my back, scratching me softly. She knows all of the right spots to hit.

"This situation was never going to be easy. Whether we told them when it started, a year ago, yesterday, it doesn't matter. They were never going to be thrilled about us being together just because it's _me_."

I felt her lean closer to me, pressing her body into my side as her free hand went to cup my cheek. I turned to face her, her blue eyes twinkling. Tired, but still alight. They always seemed to sparkle with a knowing light, as if she was always in the know to some inside joke of the universe you would never understand. It was mesmerizing.

She pulled me in slowly for a soft kiss, making me sigh again, but at least bringing a smile to my face. Our lips danced together, and I tucked her hair behind her ear in the process. Both of my hands went to cup her face, pulling her in deeper and wanting more right now. I just wanted to feel okay with her, and sometimes a good kiss was all it took to reconnect.

I pulled back and gazed at her, her demeanor so calm right now.

"How are you handling this well?" I whispered, wrapping an arm behind her, our faces inches apart. She smirked.

"Mostly because I'm too tired to engage in a full blown war right now," she replied, making me chuckle. "I know starting anything with Spencer or Hanna will be exhausting. I'm not up for a fight."

"Alison Dilaurentis? Not ready for a fight? Is someone losing their mojo?" I asked teasingly, making her shove me with her shoulder in mock protest.

"My mojo is fully intact, I just don't feel like engaging in what I know will be a shouting match."

I smiled at her sympathetically. She wasn't wrong. Ali and I both understood that our coupling was going to cause a stir with Aria, Spencer, and definitely Hanna. It didn't matter when or where or how we told them, they were going to take issue with it because of everything that had transpired in Rosewood.

At first, Ali wanted to us to wait. She wanted me to give her the chance to show herself, to be her true self, without our old friends judging her.

There was no goodbye talk or final words between Alison and any of us. We saw one another around the police station for weeks on end, the details over everything that had happened being thoroughly examined. Holbrook and Tanner and somehow managed to ensure us that anything we said would not lead to future charges, for us or any of the friends or family members who had participated in illegal activity. It was the only way we could all speak our truths, and Tanner was more concerned about understanding how the psychotic mastermind that was A could have accomplished all that she had than pinning other people for crimes. Sometimes knowledge and learning is more important than justice, or so Tanner believed. Even when it came to CeCe killing Wliden, somehow it got turned into a self-defense claim. We didn't question Tanner. I think in the end, she wanted every stone unturned in the off chance another A could come along again.

As we spent weeks of the end of our school year dealing with the A debacle, we would all pass by one another, but none of us spoke to Ali. Some of us didn't know what to say, and others were still angry about things that had happened before A. In a way, we were all able to individually put our fears, our demons, everything that had transpired, behind us. Our stories were able to be told and we didn't have to look over our shoulders for the rest of our lives, waiting for someone else to pick up the hatchet and reopen old wounds and extort us with our skeletons. We were lucky we had that opportunity, maybe karmic repayment for surviving what we had. But all of the leftover stuff, between each of us… that was left open ended, most of us assuming that as far as Alison was concerned, it would never be brought up again.

I knew Aria was in the same boat as me. We felt guilt, immense guilt, for treating Ali the way we had and sending her to jail. It wasn't that Ali was innocent for other things she had done to us, but it didn't mean we were the type of people to believe that she deserved to be punished in such an extreme way. Spencer and Hanna were in the other camp, very much unwilling to speak to Alison, going so far as to blame her for all of us suffering in the first place. Spencer and Ali had always had issues even when they were friends, and Hanna… Hanna had held onto a lot of resentment after all of the trauma being coined 'Hefty Hanna' had brought her. I understood why they were angry, I had been angry too at times. But I also knew they wouldn't understand why I wasn't.

"Em, I think I'm going to head up to bed," Alison said, pulling me from my thoughts, our snuggled position on the chair lulling me into my own head.

"You okay with me heading up?" she asked, disentangling herself from me.

"Yea, I think things will be wrapping up shortly anyway."

I got up and offered my hands, getting another smile from her as she took them and stood. We walked back into the house and kissed before I watched her go up the stairs. She waved gently and I headed back into the house, making my way towards the dining room and back towards the kitchen. A few people were getting ready to say goodbye to me and cleared out shortly after, and it was down to the girls, their boyfriends and myself.

"Well ladies, I think Mr. Fields and I will head to bed. Emily, you can show everyone out?"

"Sure thing."

My dad gave me a kiss on the head, whispering how was happy he was I was here, and they took off.

"How about Em and I make some coffee or drinks? We can all sit in the living room." Aria spoke up, and Ezra nodded, making his way over there.

"Actually, I need to be up early, Rosewood's finest retail venue can't run without a salesperson," Hanna replied.

"I'll walk you out," I replied, Spencer nodding and going off to join Aria while Toby headed to watch tv with Ezra.

I walked with Hanna and Caleb out onto the porch, Caleb giving me a hug and a happy 'to see you' before going to grab the car. Hanna and I stood, watching him go.

"He seems good," I said.

"Yea, he's been great once we finally moved out of here. It helped a lot to get away."

"I think it did for everyone."

"Well it sure seems that way."

I paused, crossing my arms and starting to walk across the deck, knowing where Hanna was steering this conversation.

"Were you ever planning on telling me, or was it one of those surprises I would find out about after you two got married?"

I breathed out, rubbing my face before running my hands through my hair.

"It's complicated Hanna."

"Really? Because it doesn't seem that complicated. You show up after two years of not seeing you, after barely hearing from you, and lo behold! ALISON is on your arm when you do. It's pretty straightforward Emily. You hid this from us. From ME."

"I didn't hide it Hanna. I didn't know when would be a good time, and the longer things went on, the less certain I was of when to tell you. I was going to wait until this week or next, when I could see you all in person."

"I'm sorry, the _longer_ it went on? Just how _long_ have you two been together?"

I paused in my pacing, turning to face her on the porch, Hanna giving me the Marin stare-down.

"We've been together over a year, talking to one another just over a year and a half."

Hanna's mouth dropped at that.

"Right after you went to school? What the hell Emily? We talked all the time when you first went to Danby! And then-"

Hanna cut herself off, the gears in her mind turning as she realized that while I kept in decent touch with everyone when I first went away, over time I contacted them less and less, eventually to the point where an email or phone call once every few weeks was the extent of my contribution. I could tell Hanna was immediately blaming Alison for this as the wheels turned in her head.

"It wasn't like that Hanna. I started swimming, I finally made friends after the initial icing out, and before I knew it I had a whole new life. And then Alison… Alison just reappeared out of thin air."

"She went to you?"

"No. We met completely by accident."

Well that part wasn't entirely true. It wasn't until after our one-year anniversary that CeCe and Jonathan spilled the beans. You see, CeCe had known Jonathan's brother, and thereby Jonathan, for years. She saw him frequently around campus while she was finishing her degree at Danby. One day in September, Jonathan mentioned some gorgeous lesbian on the swim team who had been inducted into his group, and CeCe was shocked to find it was none other than myself. The entire party walk-in had been an intentional set-up by CeCe and Jonathan ended up assisting, not even telling his partner or their friends what he was doing. The worst they thought would happen is Ali and I would scream at one another and get closure. The best thing would be what really ended up happening.

"Right, Alison just shows up at Danby even though she didn't graduate high school?"

"Hanna, Alison went to the private school that's in the same town as Danby. She didn't even know where I was going, I didn't speak to her before she left."

"Emily, you are completely naïve if you think she didn't know you were there. You really think she didn't follow up on you or keep tabs?"

"Hanna," and I paused, taking my friend in before me. There was no way she was going to budge, but I also knew I had to make a firm stance. Alison wasn't just our friend anymore. Alison was my girlfriend, my partner, my best friend, the love of my life. The fact we ended up together was a miracle, and Hanna was always going to see me as the love struck teenager who she could sway to not care for Ali. That view needed to be ended right now.

I walked up to Hanna, her a little perturbed but standing her ground, and I got within inches of her because I wanted to make this clear.

"Hanna. This isn't high school anymore. I'm not some girl with a crush and this isn't a game. Alison is my girlfriend, and we've been happily together and are even moving in together at the beginning of next semester. Don't treat this situation like the past, because it's not. It's the present, and it's my future."

Hanna looked shocked when I mentioned the moving in part, but blinked and gathered herself, shaking her head.

"That bitch ruined our lives, and now you're cozying up to her every night? You really are blind."

She stormed off down the steps to Caleb's waiting car before I could reply. I knew Hanna was going to be the hardest one to talk to about this, I just didn't realize how hard it would really be.

I watched them drive off and took a deep breath, rolling my neck before going back into the house.

* * *

><p>I asked the guys if they needed anything, but they seemed settled in watching baseball, Aria and Spencer ten steps ahead of me. I went into the kitchen where Aria was trying to cut the pie my mom had made, Spencer laughing at her failed attempts.<p>

"Do I even want to know?" I asked in jest, sidling up to the counter to sit next to Spencer, who was laughing at Aria's crumbling pie pieces.

"Shut up Spencer!" Aria whined, her cutting skills making a massacre of the baked good. I couldn't stop laughing at the mess either.

"And to think, you're the artsy one out of all of us," Spencer said, Aria flicking pie goo her way.

"H-Hey! No food fighting! Emily!"

"Now now girls," I replied, impersonating my mother ever so well.

The giggles died down, and I thanked Aria as she finally managed to serve both Spencer and I.

"Your mom is amazing in the kitchen, I can't believe it's been two years since I've had her cooking," Spencer said, Aria humming in agreement.

"Yea, I miss it too. She brings stuff when she makes it to my games, so at least I have that."

"How is swimming going, with the shoulder and everything? I heard Paige talking about you guys almost facing each other in the finals?" Aria asked.

"Mm, yea. Her team made it all the way to the end, but we had a hiccup in the semis. It's a bummer too, that other team didn't really stand a chance against Stanford, we definitely had a shot at taking them."

"I'm sure Paige was not so subtly smug when she brought it up," Spencer said with a smirk, making me laugh.

"She actually seemed pretty humble about it. She's not as cocky as she used to be, or at least it seems that way."

"You two didn't keep touch ever?" Spencer asked.

"No, not really. She sent me an email once or twice, but I don't know. It just never happened after that."

Spencer nodded silently, Aria watching her before sighing out.

"Okay, it's been years since we did the lying thing, can we just talk about the elephant in the room?" Aria said, making me tense. At least we took one thing away from A; nipping things in the bud.

"You guys want to know about me and Alison?"

"Well, it was pretty shocking," Aria replied, Spencer quiet.

"It's a long story..."

"You can tell us, Em," Spencer said, taking a deep breath, and placing her fork down.  
>"I'm sorry I reacted the way I did, it just… it came out of nowhere."<p>

"You never mentioned her in any of our calls or emails over the years," Aria added in gently.

I took a deep breath and nodded, happy that Spencer seemed to be taking it much better than I expected. I looked at them both and gave a small smile.

"I didn't mean to keep it from you guys… I just… I didn't know what to say."

Aria took my hand from across the counter.

"Look Em. We all had very different friendships with Alison, but there is no doubt your relationship with her was by far the most different, the most complicated. It's okay, we're not judging… we're just, trying to understand."

I nodded, and Spencer gave a small smile of encouragement.

"It's a pretty long story, but I'll give you the brief version for now if that's okay?" I asked, them both nodding as we all took in how late it was.

"Well… Alison and her dad moved to the town next to Danby, and CeCe went to the boarding school in the same town as Danby for a post grad year after Rosewood High or something. She helped Alison get in and pushed her to go, and CeCe even ended up moving nearby to finish her degree at Danby since she couldn't at UPenn.

"We were at the same party one night and ran into each other. We talked briefly, decided to just take things incredibly slow, start with coffee and talking about things… It was hard at first. I got mad a few times, so did she. But eventually we fell into a rhythm and our friendship grew. It wasn't until the holiday break that we took the plunge into being something more, and we've been together ever since."

Spencer was quiet, but nodded slowly as Aria squeezed my hand in support.

"Did Ali ask you not to tell us?" Spencer asked.

"At first, yes. She wanted us to see if we could mend things as the people we had become without any outside influences… after we got together, she started encouraging me to tell you guys, but then I ended up not coming home last summer and I just sort of… avoided."

"Well, I'm sorry you felt you had to keep it a secret. It makes sense now though, why you've been so distant," Aria said.

"It's not just Alison that made that happen though," I replied uneasily.

"What do you mean?" Aria asked.

"She's been distant because we are a reminder of everything that happened," Spencer said, looking at the counter. She glanced up at me, and I could tell Spencer understood better than anyone why I was distant.

I bit the inside of my cheek, not wanting to say a word. Spencer hit the nail on the head, and something told me she knew because she felt the same about everything, felt the same about Alison.

The truth of our situation is that when Alison first disappeared, we all went our separate ways. Ali was the glue that joined and held our group together, along with all of our secrets. What brought us back together again was Alison's alleged body being discovered and Mona's terrorism on our lives. But after Alison was found and everything was finally settled, after we could finally, truly, bury everything with all of those past secrets, there was a lot of trauma leftover. PTSD just begins to describe what we were suffering from.

None of us realized how numb we had become to issues like danger, legality, stress. Our lives weren't just turned upside down. We were hunted, tormented and harassed for years, and when all was said and done, each of us was a reminder to the other of what we had been through.

"I get it, Emily. I really do," Spencer said, finally removing her gaze from the counter and bringing it up to look at Aria and myself.

"We went through something that people only dream or write stories about, something horrific and mind numbing. We were 16, and by the end of it, we felt like we were 40. I understand pulling away, and I get not wanting to bring Ali into it. She's probably the biggest reminder for all of us."

We sat in silence for a moment, but I looked at Spencer who seemed just as tired as Ali was earlier.

"Spence?" I asked.

"Yea?"

"Do you remember when we were at that theatre in New York? You said you used to only focus on winning, but then that had changed for you and you just wanted to be happy. You didn't want to go back to the person you were."

"I remember."

"I know Ali's a trigger, and when we started speaking again, I didn't forget what she did… but she changed a lot too, during and after everything. She doesn't want to go back either, she just wants to be happy too."

Spencer stared at me, and I was relieved to see that my words were clicking for her. I understood better than anyone why she would be upset with Alison's presence. I understood that Ali used to be a mean and downright awful person at times. But I also knew that we all went through something traumatic and all changed because of it, including her. The other girls just needed to understand that too.

"I think that was the biggest lesson for all of us, really. Learning how fragile happiness is, you know?" Aria spoke up, and I nodded, breathing out a deep breath as I did.

"It's getting late," Spencer said, and I took that as my cue to start moving and ushering everyone out, it being almost 11.

We moved plates and utensils around, assuring the other girls I would deal with it later. I walked everyone to the door, giving hugs and kisses as I did, happy to see Ezra and Toby taking everything in stride. I waved them all goodbye, but Spencer paused on the steps telling Toby something and coming back up to me.

"You forget something?" I asked.

"No, no… I just," she paused again, looking at me and trying to find the right words to say.

"Ali and I don't have a great history, and I know part of the reason you kept things from us was because of me, and well, obviously Hanna. But you're right Em, I don't want to go backwards either."

I smiled and she smiled back, loosening up a little.

"I don't know what that means. I don't know if Ali and I will be able to speak civilly or even be able to get along, but what I do know is that I miss you, we all do. And so… tell Ali to call me. I'd like to talk to her, one on one."

My face must have looked completely shocked, as Spencer chuckled at my expression, walking up to shut my hanging mouth with her finger.

"I'm just trying to help all of us take a step forward. Believe me, I want Ali to be different, because old Alison… that is not someone anybody should be around. But just tell her to call me."

Spencer pulled me in for a hug, and I was too bewildered to respond. I hugged her back tightly, whispering a thank you for her efforts. She pulled back and gave a nod before walking down the steps to Toby's waiting car.

I shut the door, taking a deep breath as I did. What a long day. I finally made myself move to the stairs and headed up and into my room quietly, Alison laying with her back to the door.

I noticed the blow up mattress box in the corner of my room, and I knew this was going to be a fight with my mother, but it was one I wouldn't deal with until tomorrow. You would think her knowing Ali and I were moving in together would be enough for her to realize we slept in the same bed.

I quickly changed into a tshirt and running shorts for bed, easing my way in behind Alison and slowly sneaking up to mold my body into hers. She stirred slightly, but I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her in, as her sleep-filled brain accepted the embrace and snuggled back into the warmth, mumbling incoherently.

"Em?"

"Mmm, yes baby?"

"How'd the rest go?" she asked, mumbling and barely understandable, making me chuckle into her neck, my lips planting a kiss there soon after.

"It was good, mostly… we'll talk tomorrow."

"Mmkay… love you."

"Love you too," I replied, nuzzling myself into her hair that always seemed to smell amazing. I heard her even breathing and found my eyes fluttering shut, and before I knew it, I was following her into la-la land.

* * *

><p>Notes:<p>

There are many things to write in these notes, but for the sake of all, I'll keep it brief. When leaving a REVIEW, a review is meant to REVIEW the work, which means leaving commentary that is feedback for the author. I don't care if the feedback says it's terrible, or if it's amazing, because feedback is important regardless and I really do want feedback.

What I don't care for is reviews telling me I need to update because you have been waiting for 'x' amount of time and that my story will magically become boring because you have to wait. That is not feedback, that is your impatience and overall lack of gratitude, and frankly, it makes me so turned off to writing that you shoot yourself in the foot by saying things like this to me. It makes me have zero desire to post, even if I have chapters written.

To those other kind reviewers, thank you for reviewing the stuff I put out. I am not a writer, a novelist, an author, you name it. I do this for me, and share because some people seem to like it. I have an incredibly busy semester and work several jobs at this point in time to pay for a master's program out of pocket, and I am very sorry my update times are slow, but that is just how it is right now. If I lose people in the process, well I thank you for the time you did spend reading.

The lack of updates are also largely due to the lack of Emison in the show, which has been the muse for my writing, and also, PLL in general. I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like it's all filler episodes that don't really explain much and just keep dangling red herrings in our faces. So the show as a whole is practically a writing turn off for me, and again, that's just how it is right now.

I hope to be writing more as spring/ summer come. I make no update promises at this point in time. Thank you for the support.

Until next time.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

* * *

><p>Somewhere in the midst of dream land…<p>

* * *

><p><em>A year and a half ago<em>

_Emily sat at table next to the large glass windows of the café located on the south side of Danby's expansive campus. Her chin rested on her palm as she looked out the window, the breeze blowing the light snow flurries down the streets and sidewalks. It was a gorgeous, sunny day, and Emily marveled at how the rays bounced around, the snowflakes shimmering. It was a beautiful day, and it distracted Emily from the person approaching her table._

_Emily missed the ringing from the door opening, and Jen could see her younger friend was deeply distracted as she entered. From what she had heard through the grapevine, Alison and Emily had gotten into another one of their spats, and with the semester about to end in a day, Jen could tell Emily was struggling _

"_Hey girl! You stare any longer and you'll make rainbows shoot out ya eyeballs," Jen said in a jokingly sassy manner, as she set her bag on the seat across from Emily at the small table, her eyebrows and body bouncing, making Emily laugh and shake her head. _

_Jen leaned down and gave Emily a brief hug, shedding her coat and scarf to sit across from her younger friend. _

"_SO. What has you staring at the air so intensely my friend?" Jen asked, folding her hands under her chin to watch Emily, a coy smile on her lips. _

_Emily gave a look in response, knowing her friend's tease was all in good fun. She sighed shaking her head with a smile._

"_I'm guessing you heard through the grapevine?"_

"_Girl, everyone on the campus hears when you two have a row," Jen replied, Emily smacking her arm from across the table and laughing out loud with her friend._

"_Jen!"_

"_I'm teasing, I'm teasing. But of course I heard. Ali vents to CeCe, CeCe talks to Jon, Jon talks to me. You know how it goes."_

"_Ugh," Emily said, her hands going through her hair as she rested her elbows on the table. "As great as it is that everyone gets along, which I can't say will ever be the case with our other friends, it makes it a pain sometimes."_

_Jen chuckled._

"_At least you don't need to retell the whole story? You can just tell your part of it."_

"_I guess that's true," Emily replied chuckling some more. _

_Jen always knew how to make Emily laugh. There was something about Jen. Jonathan liked to say it was because she had an old soul; she was just so relaxed and level headed in any situation. Ali liked to joke it was the pot, and Emily was sure that helped matters too. But in any storm that came, Jen was the person you could rely on to be the smooth sailor, as if she had sailed through all of the storms of life before over her many past lives. She was quite a character, and Emily was always grateful she had met Jen right on her arrival to Danby. Jen was one of the people who helped change her life._

"_So what is it now girlie? Jon said CeCe was worried about Ali… it seemed more intense than usual."_

_Emily pursed her lips, thinking over her recent fight with Ali. It wasn't that the two of them were constantly fighting; it was maybe the third big argument they had had since speaking to one another again. The problem was that their fights were always heated, unlike any other fight the girls had experienced previously. There were so many emotions flying around between them, and their fights became that much more explosive because of it._

"_It was just… hard."_

"_How do you mean?"  
><em>

_Emily paused, looking out the window again, trying to figure out what to say. When she had decided to make an effort to be friends with Ali after all was said and done, she had no idea what she was in for. Alison hadn't just been a bully when they were younger; Alison had done some truly horrible things, perhaps even unforgivable things. As Alison confided more and more in Emily as of late, Emily at times would be completely blindsided as she heard about the horrible things Ali had done that she wasn't even aware of. _

_Their recent fights had never been about their current situation. Their fights were always related to the past as Emily pushed Alison to be honest and come clean. In their most recent spat, Emily had learned something she wished she hadn't, concerning her closest friend from Rosewood, Hanna Marin._

Emily turned back to look at Jen, the ever objective genius. Jen could have _compassion for anybody, quite possibly even Hitler. She was just that type of person. And while it was great, she wondered how Jen would handle this news. She never wanted her new friends to judge Ali, but she also needed people who she could talk to when she didn't understand what to make of a situation. Almost as if Jen could read the words across Emily's brain, she spoke up._

"_Okay, so what did Ali confess to doing now?"_

"_It's like you can read my mind sometimes."_

"_More like, I know you and I know her, and know what you guys fight about."_

"_What do you mean? You know what we fight about?"_

"_You two always fight about the past. Whenever you two are together and just living in the present, enjoying the current moment, it's beautiful to witness. I can practically feel you two in sync," Jen said, making Emily smile._

"_But, when you two fight, it's because you're fighting about things from way back when, not things in the moment."_

"_There is a lot of stuff in our pasts we have to address in the moment though."_

"_Maybe… why don't you tell me what she told you?"_

_Emily sighed._

"_You remember my friend Hanna? The blonde in the photographs?"_

"_Yea. Your bestie, pretty girl? What about her?"_

"_Well… I was talking to Ali about me needing to tell the girls about us being friends eventually, and as we got talking about how they would handle it, she told me Hanna will probably never forgive her."_

"_Okay…"_

"_Basically… Alison told me she taught Hanna how to be bulimic. She used to bully Hanna, I mean she literally made up the name 'Hefty Hanna' for her, and Hanna was a part of our friend circle. Hanna was like her own personal walking, talking punching bag. She made comments anywhere she could… it's like she built Hanna up just to beat her down."_

_Jen watched Emily silently, listening to the words she was saying. She thought about the Alison she had come to know, and compared her to the girl she was hearing about now. How different those girls were, she thought._

"_I just… Hanna is one of my best friends. And to hear that Ali did that, created an insecurity and then taught her how to participate in an eating disorder because of that insecurity?… what do you even do with that?"_

_Emily shook her head as her eyebrows furrowed in frustration and her face became masked in sadness. Jen watched her, taking in all of the details. Jen had learned a lot about legend that was Alison Dilaurentis, and she was sure if she had met Alison in the past, she wouldn't have had anything to do with her, her toxic energy or her ill intentions. The old Ali D was not a good cookie, that much was clear. But that wasn't the problem right now, and that's not what she was focusing on. As she looked at Emily, she saw a girl who was struggling to love a person who used to be a monster._

"_Emily," she finally said, making Emily refocus her gaze on her._

"_I'm going to be really real with you right now, because honestly, you're at the point where you need to make a decision."_

"_What are you talking about?"  
><em>

_Jen took a deep breath._

"_When you spend time with Alison, how do you feel?"_

"_I feel… good, I guess. It's good."_

"_Right. When you and her go to the movies, or she joins you at the gym, or when we all hang as a group or even when she comes to our meets. You feel good, right? It clicks? It works for you?"_

"_Well, yea. We're fine now, Jen, but-"_

"_No, no no. You see, there are no buts here, Emily."_

"_Jen, you can't seriously tell me to forget what Ali did."_

"_Actually, that's exactly what I'm telling you."_

_Emily looked back at Jen as if she had just grown two heads._

"_Are you crazy? Just ignore all of the horrible stuff she used to do? Ignore her prowess for manipulation, the way she used lies to torture people? You cannot be serious."_

_Jen gave a soft smile, removed her head from her hands as she wrapped her fingers around Emily's hands, holding them gently._

"_Emily, darling… I need you to just listen to me for a quick second, can you do that?"_

_Emily looked at her confused, but simply nodded._

"_I don't know the Alison Dilaurentis you are talking about. I don't know the evil mastermind who used to make people cower. I don't know the bitch who tormented you for your sexuality, your friend Hanna for her weight, or the girl that made peoples lives a living hell and believed she was a goddess on earth. That girl? I have no clue who she is._

"_What I do know is that I have this friend Alison. She's a pretty girl, she's sweet. She's sharp and observant, she laughs big, is witty and sarcastic. She can be a fierce bitch at times, even mean at moments, and she is one hell of a protective friend. I know this Alison. I know she feels she doesn't deserve to be loved because she used to hurt people. I know she hates when people know about her before they meet her. I know my Alison is a girl who has a lot of guilt, a lot of regret, and is looking for people who accept her for who she is NOW."_

_Jen paused, giving her words a moment to sink into Emily's brain._

"_And you, my dear. There was an Alison you used to know. She was something evil, but for some reason, you saw a side to her that made you believe there was a good girl in there. Even when you saw the awful things she did, you knew there was more to it, and there were even times where she proved you right when the two of you were alone._

"_And right now? You know this same girl, but instead of her doing awful things, she's showing that she is the girl you used to only see in clips. Now, you see that girl all the time, because that's probably who she really is, without the insecurity and need to control being present. The girl you believed you saw at age 15 is now standing there in front of you at age 18, telling you that you were right."_

"_So what are you saying," Emily whispered softly, the intensity of Jen's gaze pressuring her. "Just forgive and forget?"_

"_No Emily. What I'm saying is that you have a choice. You either stay in the past and let everything she did dictate your relationship, or you realize that Alison is the 2.0 version and is trying to live her life now._

"_I see how she is. From the first moment I met her, I saw a heavy burden on that girl's shoulders. I'm not saying what she did was right, because it wasn't. I'm not saying your friends should forgive her, that's their issue. What I am saying is that you need to forgive the past and take Ali as who she is now, or you need to walk away and accept you'll always see her as a monster."_

"_What do I do when she tells me things like this, though? What she did to Hanna?"  
><em>

"_Then you have to hear her side of the story. Instead of sitting there and thinking about your friend Hanna and how much Alison hurt her, you need to focus on the other part. You need to realize she's confiding in you about this because this was an awful thing she did that she hates herself for and feels ashamed of._

"_If Ali came to me with that story? I would of course tell her it was a terrible thing to do, but I would also tell her it's okay, we all do horrible things and you know what you did was wrong, so you need to forgive yourself and move forward because holding onto it and beating yourself up about it will only make things worse. Life isn't going to be easy for Alison. She dug herself a nasty hole, and karma's going to give her a rough time in filling it back up. But if you can't differentiate between the Alison who did awful things without remorse and the present day Alison who can barely live with herself, then you need to walk away because it's just going to kill both of you slowly."_

_Emily didn't realize she wasn't breathing until her gaze snapped down to her hands._ _Somewhere in the midst of Jen's words, she had taken Jen's hands in return and was holding onto them for dear life._

"_I-I'm sorry," Emily said, pulling her hands back to her lap._

"_It's okay, and it's okay that you're having all of these confusing feelings lovie. Life is a confusing and messy journey."_

"_Yet you somehow seem to see things perfectly clearly."_

"_Maybe I just have my own past that I learned from Emily," Jen said, making Emily look back up at her in shock. Jen kept smiling, giving her a wink._

"_Anyway, I need to head out and meet my boy, but you're coming to Jon's end of the semester bash tomorrow night right?"_

_Emily felt like she had just gotten off a tilt-a-whirl, but managed to respond._

"_Uh, yea! Yea, I'll be there."_

"_Okay, good," Jen replied, putting her coat and scarf on, and going to Emily to give her a hug._

"_Don't overthink it sweetie. Just follow your heart."_

_Jen pulled away, cupping Emily's cheeks and then leaning down to smack her lips on her forehead. _

"_It will all work out doll," she said with a smile, and Emily nodded, Jen taking off with a skip towards the door of the café, leaving Emily uncomfortably unsettled, but also slightly relieved, the world becoming that much clearer for her._

* * *

><p><em>It was already the next day and Emily had finished her last exam with flying colors. She was over at Lauren's dorm getting ready, Jen saying she would stop by with Travis before heading over to meet Jon and Charlie at the fraternity. <em>

_Emily hadn't spoken to Alison since their fight days ago, but she had spent the last 36 hours studying and rewinding Jen's words in her head. Emily knew that Jen was right. At the end of the day, there were two options. Accept Alison for who she was and take her as who she was today, or let the past define her and walk away. _

_One might think forgiveness was an easy feat, but when you had experienced the pain first hand, or had friends who still suffered after what was done to them, it was hard to stay present and focus. But deep down, Emily knew where her heart stood. She knew what she had to do, and it was about time she confronted Alison._

"_Hey girl, you have been distracted all night. What's up?" Lauren asked, throwing a sock at Emily's head as the tall brunette finished putting her mascara on. _

"_Hey, watch it," Emily said playfully, standing up from Lauren's mirror that sat on her desk. _

"_It's nothing, really. Just thinking."_

"_About Alison?"_

_Emily rolled her eyes and sighed._

"_God, everyone really does find out in this little group."_

_Lauren laughed. _

"_I don't need to hear about the latest drama to know you're thinking about Ali, hun. You think about that girl all day everyday."_

_Emily turned around from her reflection in the mirror, the tight black dress with thick straps and no back making her feel sexy this evening._

"_What is THAT supposed to mean?"_

_Laure chuckled even louder._

"_Oh come on girl, we both know you still have the hots for Princess Ali Dee. You should see the way you drool over her."_

_Emily's mouth fell open, and it was the perfect moment for Jen and Travis to walk in, stoned as ever. Jen paused in her chuckle with her man, looking at Emily's face._

"_Why does Emily look like she's waiting for a giant sundae to enter her mouth?"_

_Lauren started cracking up, making Emily shake her head and turn to look at her friends._

"_Giant sundae? Really Jen?"_

"_What? I'm just saying, my mouth gets that wide for ice cream too."_

"_And other things…" Travis said with a straight face, bursting into laughter as Jen elbowed him in the gut._

_Emily and Lauren joined in the laughter before Jen interrupted again._

"_No, but seriously. Were you giving little Em Em a lecture? I just gave her sage life advice yesterday, what more does she need?"_

"_She wasn't giving me a lecture at all, she was telling me that I have a drooling problem."_

"_Oh, over Ali's ass. Everyone knows that, duh," Travis said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world._

_Lauren and Jen started cackling as Emily's expression turned appalled once again._

"_Guys! I do not drool over Ali's, uh, backside."_

_Jen made her way to Lauren's bed, Lauren joining her in a puddle of giggles, their tight dresses hugging them. Jen's bright red dress fit her skin tone perfectly, one of the few lucky gals that could pull off red like a model, while Lauren went with a simple navy blue dress. The pair cackled uncontrollably as Travis walked up to Emily, planting a hand on her shoulder._

"_Girl, everyone checks out blondie's backside, she's got it going on. There ain't no shame."_

"_Y-Yea Emily, I've caught Travis staring more time than I can count!" Jen said, sitting up and wiping the tears out of her eyes, making Travis chuckle._

_Emily stood there blushing completely, and unsure of what to do with herself. Her conversation with Jen the previous day hadn't just made Emily contemplate her friendship with Ali, it made her contemplate and address her romantic feelings for Alison too._

_Part of her realized that she and Ali could never be friends. It wasn't just the damage from Rosewood that impacted them both severely, but also the fact that Emily was in love with Alison and had been for a long time. If Emily was honest, she wondered at times if she had ever really let Ali go. There was too much said and done._

_Jen sobered up from her laughter at the expression on Emily's face, realizing she and Lauren might genuinely need to have another chat today._

"_Hey Trav, babe? You mind going ahead without us? We need some girl prepping time."_

_Travis looked up and could read Jen's mind, giving her a nod and walking over to kiss her goodbye. With a wave, he exited and the three girls were left standing there._

"_You didn't need to tell him to go, it's fine really."_

"_Emily, there something so clearly off with you tonight, it's okay," Lauren said reassuringly as she patted her bed, Jen sitting in happy silence. _

"_Is it about what we discussed yesterday?" Jen asked. _

_Emily rubbed her hands together and nodded, marching over to the pair and seating herself between them on the bed. _

"_What's the problem?" Jen asked quietly, her hand brushing some hair out of Emily's face while Lauren rubbed her back. _

"_I thought about what you said yesterday… I thought about it a lot, and I think I know what I want. I think I know what I have to do, but… it's going to change everything, you know? I don't know if I'm ready to let go."_

"_What is it you're thinking?" Lauren asked, her gaze going to Jen's calm one, unaware of the girls conversing yesterday._

"_Jen and I talked about everything yesterday, and she made me realize I can't keep living in limbo anymore. I have to make a choice, address everything, and I realized something I had been avoiding for a while that had been coming up when Ali and I have been fighting, something I didn't even realize was there."_

"_What is that?" Lauren asked._

_Emily paused, taking a deep breath, but feeling safe, knowing her friends would understand._

"_I can't be friends with Ali anymore. Not after everything that happened. It's part of the reason we keep fighting."_

_Lauren paused in her rubbing, her eyes going back to Jen who still seemed calm. _

"_I-I… are you sure, Em? You guys seemed great together, I thought-"_

"_No, I'm sure. In fact," Emily said, standing up again. "I need to go see her before tonight."_

_Lauren looked shocked, her gaze going back to Jen who seemed calm as a cucumber, making Lauren even more confused as she knew Jen thought Ali and Emily would work everything out._

"_E-Emily, maybe you should sit on this a little longer and wait?"_

_Emily was already putting on her coat and grabbing her purse, texting a message to Alison that she wanted to stop by before the party to speak to her._

"_It's okay Lauren, it's the right thing."_

"_Emily, I just-"_

"_Lauren," Jen said, calmly from the bed. She looked Lauren in the eyes, Lauren shaking her head at her as if to ask, 'what the hell are you thinking?!'_

"_Let her go, she's got this."_

_Emily just smiled at Jen, giving her a brief nod before opening the door._

"_I'll see you guys at the party," Emily said before exiting, Lauren turning on Jen after the door shut._

"_Are you trying to break her heart? They will both be devastated!"_

"_Actually, I think my advice worked out better than even I had anticipated," Jen returned with a smile, leaning in to give Lauren the low down on what she believed was going to transpire._

* * *

><p><em>Alison was waiting in the living room to her and her father's large condo. She had received a text from Emily that she wanted to speak with her before the party and she would drive them both their after. Alison let CeCe know and assured her that she would be fine, leaving the blonde to sit and wait.<em>

_CeCe had felt uncomfortable leaving Ali, knowing her friend was uneasy after her recent fight with Emily, but Alison said it was bound to happen. As grateful as she was for being given one last chance, she knew deep down this might happen, that she and Emily wouldn't be able to deal with the damage that had already been done. _

_Alison sighed for the thousandth time that evening, standing up and going to the sliding glass doors that lead to the balcony, taking in her appearance in the reflection. Her silver and glimmering Louboutin's shined brightly, matching the rest of her silver bracelets, necklaces and earrings. She wore a simple black dress that glimmered itself, a deep V-neck accentuating her cleavage. Alison looked hot and fierce as usual, but it was no matter. She felt incredibly anxious for her friend's, soon to be ex friend's, arrival. _

"_Well… maybe college in Paris is an option now," she mumbled to herself out loud, trying anything to make herself feel better._

_Alison had hoped that over time, she and Emily would repair their friendship fully. Things had been going incredibly well, but every time Rosewood was brought up in conversation, it was like they were back in it again, Emily treating her like the monster she worried she was deep down. Alison knew that she would have to face this, knew their relationship would be an uphill battle, but she also hoped that this was going to lead to the opportunity for her and Emily to begin the romantic relationship they were never given the chance to explore fully while back in their old town. However, it sadly seemed that Emily was never going to be able to move on from the past, let alone forgive her._

_Ali's face whipped up as the doorbell chimed and she heard someone enter her home at the landing downstairs._

"_Ali?" Emily called from below, the first level of the condo needing to be reached by stairs._

"_Up in the living room!" Alison called back, pacing in her wide living room, the kitchen in the background and cut off by counters and low hanging ceiling. _

_She heard Emily's heels clack up the steps, and before Ali knew it, the brunette was standing in front of her, black winter coat coming off along with the scarf around her neck._

"_Hey," Emily said as she finished disrobing, going to put her coat and scarf on the bright white couches that stood out from the rest of the room._

"_Hey," Ali replied quietly, going to cross her arms. _

_She was surprised by the smile on Emily's face, wondering how she could be so happy when she felt her own heart was breaking. Was Emily really that glad to be rid of her? _

_Emily noticed Ali's posture and looked confused._

"_You okay?"_

"_We haven't spoken since our fight, Emily. I'm not really feeling like this is going to be the happiest conversation of my life."_

_Emily knew Ali was upset with her after avoiding the blonde for a few days, but she didn't think Alison would be this frazzled. Maybe it meant that Emily's decision was right all along._

"_I'm sorry I've ignored you since our fight… I had a lot to process. Not just with what you told me, but, other stuff too."_

"_I figured…"_

_Emily's fist hit her palm gently as she awkwardly approached Ali._

"_I spoke with Jen yesterday, and she helped me work out a few things… made me realize something."_

_Alison drew in a deep breath, waiting for the blow._

"_Oh?"_

"_Yea… she uh… she made me realize that I… I can't be friends with you anymore, Alison."_

_Ali's jaw clenched, she could feel her heart breaking, but she knew that this was a possibility. She knew after telling Emily the truth behind Hanna's deep seeded hatred and resentment for her, Emily would see just how vicious she really had been, and would be unable to ever see past it._

"_I see."_

_Alison began to walk towards and around Emily._

"_No, you don't see," Emily replied, gently grabbing her arm before Ali yanked it away._

"_I get it Em, it isn't that hard to figure out! I was a monster, and I did horrible things, and you will never be able to forgive me. I see it, I hear it, I get you loud and clear. I've been prepared for this ever since I was on the run. You don't need to explain."_

_Alison stormed off towards the hallway leading down the hall._

"_I've been in love with you since I was 15."_

_Alison's stiletto screeched on the wooden floor as she came to a halt a few feet away from Emily. The brunette took this as a sign to continue, and she did._

"_I fell in love with you when I was 15, and ever since then... ever since then, it's like you're a part of me. When you disappeared, even when we thought you were dead… you were still lingering, always in the back of my mind, like a ghost I couldn't shake."_

_Alison turned her head, tears coming to her eyes as she looked at Emily._

"_I dated other people, tried to move on and forget about you… I even helped send you to jail because I eventually convinced myself that I didn't love you, that the girl I thought I saw all those years ago was someone I had made up."_

_Emily felt tears come to her eyes. She bit her lip and shrugged her shoulders up, releasing a small laugh._

"_But I was wrong. The girl I fell in love with, even though she was mean and cruel, she was kind deep down somewhere… she had love and cared, and when I left Rosewood behind, I somehow found that girl again, here. I kept thinking about the past, focusing on the bad that happened, focusing on the girl you were rather than the girl you really are, standing here, right now."_

_Alison choked out a sob, wiping her face and looking off to the side, making Emily finally walk up to her. Emily was letting the tears run now, and she knew it was hard, that it was going to be hard for them for a long time coming, but Jen was right. A decision had to be made if either of them wanted to be happy and move on. Limbo was a place you settled when you sat in fear._

"_I can't be friends with you Ali because I've never stopped loving you. You're a part of me, and god, and I wish you weren't at times, but you are. I know I need to forgive and forget the past. I know you're trying to move on and be a better person, the person you want to be, but I can't be there as just your friend… we haven't been just friends for a long time."_

_Alison felt Emily's hands rubbing her back and removing hair from her shoulders. She couldn't believe this was happening right now, having been fully prepared for Emily to walk out of her life and leave her behind forever. _

"_Ali, I just-"_

_Emily was interrupted as Alison turned and grabbed her face, pulling her in for a kiss. Emily could taste the saltiness from Ali's tears, but smiled into the kiss nonetheless. _

_Jen had been right. Emily needed to make a decision, and the decision she realized she needed to make was to let the past be buried for good, and to open up herself and take a chance at the love she had always felt for her blonde companion. She knew Ali and her could have never stayed friends because they had passed that stage a long time ago. Emily was in love with Alison as Alison was in love with her, and she didn't want to wait in limbo any longer to avoid that._

_Alison smiled as she kissed Emily deeply, the taller girl wrapping her arms around Ali's waste as Ali's arms slid over her shoulders. Alison didn't want to back away, but breathing was becoming an issue, and she slowed herself down before leaning her head back, giving them room to breathe._

"_Wow," Emily said, surprised by Ali's overzealous reaction. Alison chuckled._

"_Sorry… I thought this conversation was going to go very differently tonight."_

_Emily leaned in for a quick kiss, going to kiss her cheek and then bury her head in Ali's shoulder, squeezing her tightly. Alison reciprocated, the pair standing and holding one another._

"_I know this isn't going to be easy, Ali… but I want you. I want this, us. I'm going to struggle sometimes with the past, but I know you've changed, I know you're different… I know you've always been a good person deep down even if you didn't want to see it. I just need you to be patient as I learn to let go."_

_Alison nodded in her shoulder, pulling herself back again, hands on Emily's collarbone._

"_Believe me, I'm trying to learn to forgive myself and let go. I know it's going to take a while," she replied, a small smile her lips as she pulled her hands back to fix her makeup._

"_Shit, am I going to have to redo myself?" she asked, making Emily chuckle and remove her hands to adjust Ali's face._

"_Nope, you should be all set," she said, wiping away any remaining smudges. _

"_Do you still want to head to the party?"_

"_Yea," Emily replied. "I definitely think this is something worth celebrating."_

_She smiled big, making Ali chuckle. She gave her another kiss and went to grab her coat, Alison doing the same before shutting off the lights for the night._

_The girls exited the condo and made it to Emily's car, Emily driving them over to the party, hands together the entire time. Both girls sat happily, feeling as if a tremendous weight was lifted. _

* * *

><p><em>After 20 minutes, they finally parked and made their way over to the house, the party in full swing. They gave their names at the door and entered hand in hand, immediately going to the steps to get up to Jonathan's room.<em>

_They eventually made it up the stairs, giving the secret knock before Travis opened the door._

"_AY! Look who made it!" he shouted, a red solo cup in hand as he pulled each girl in for a hug. _

_Jonathan's room had almost ten other guests in it, Charlie sitting in his usual spot relaxing and playing video games while Jen kicked his ass. Lauren screeched as she ran over to the girls who were busy taking their coats off, pulling them both into a bear hug._

"_Ugh! I was so worried y'all weren't going to make it!" she said pulling away, but keeping both hands on each of the girl's arms._

"_You gals made up though, right?"_

"_Um, you could say that," Emily replied, going to intertwine her fingers with Ali's, Alison reciprocating by leaning in closer. _

_It took Lauren's mind a drunken minute to realize what was happening, but before they knew it, she was screeching and jumping up and down like a crazy woman._

"_Oh my god! Finally!" _

"_Darling, Lauren, the decibels your voice can reach never cease to amaze me," Jonathan said as he approached, CeCe following up behind him._

"_What's got her in a tizzy?" the blonde asked with a quirked eyebrow. _

_Lauren grabbed their entwined hands in response, holding them up. CeCe's mouth dropped, but with a smile, as Jonathan's eyes sparkled. _

"_No. Way," CeCe said, looking between the blushing girls._

_Jonathan reached in to give each girl a hug, wishing them a congratulations, CeCe doing the same. Everyone in the group was dancing for joy on the inside, just waiting for this day to come. _

_Jen eventually mosied her way on over and gave them both a hug._

"_By the way, did you two miss the mistletoe on your way through the door?"_

_Emily looked confused, and Alison just smirked at Jen knowingly._

"_But, I didn't see any-" Emily began, before Alison cut her off for a second time that night. _

_Little did the girls realize Lauren was taking a picture of the pair behind Jen, the pair high fiving before the duo pulled away._

"_Now! That is what I am talking about!" Jen shouted, pulling them in for another hug, both girls laughing. _

_She wrapped her arms around both of them, walking them further into the room._

"_I will say though, I wish you had done this a week sooner though. You cost me 50 bucks."_

_Emily and Ali both frowned, looking at one another before looking at Jen._

"_50 bucks?" Emily asked._

"_Duh! On the betting pool we had going!" Lauren shouted, making Jonathan and CeCe laugh._

"_Cece?" Ali asked._

"_Ohhh, it was nothing baby doll. We all just placed bets about how long it would take you two to finally admit your undying love and devotion to one another," CeCe replied with a coy smile, making Jonathan and Jen laugh._

"_Speaking of which, who won?" Lauren asked, only to be answered by a stoned Charlie waving from his seat with Travis in the midst of their video game playing. _

_Ali shook her head._

"_Angel boy? Of all people who, would have thought," she commented, making the group laugh._

_Alison shot Emily a look and Emily returned it, the pair smiling about what had happened, and what was about to come._

* * *

><p>BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP<p>

Emily began stirring from her slumber, incredibly groggy. She couldn't recall setting an alarm before bed, but she realized it must have been set by her girlfriend who was not in her arms at the moment.

Rolling over, she pulled herself out of her dream that was more of a blast from the past. She sat up and saw it was almost 9:30, Ali letting her sleep in. She wiped her face and got the sleep out of her eyes, throwing the covers off of herself. She could smell breakfast and heard Alison giggling, probably joking with her mom about another stupid thing Emily did. Emily smiled.

She sat on her bed for a few minutes, thinking back to that night and how it was one of her favorites from freshman year. She decided to text Jen a hello so they could talk later, and was grateful for the new friends she had made in her life thus far.

Even though it was just the beginning of summer, Emily knew that this was going to be a hard one where some difficult memories and emotions were dragged to the surface. However, she knew one thing for certain. Choosing to let go and give Alison another chance was the best decision she could have made, for herself and for Ali. She had never been happier in her life than in these last two years. She only hoped that somehow everyone else would come to understand her decision, because it was one she was going to stick to.

Taking another deep breath, Emily got out of her bed and commenced her trek to the kitchen to start another day.

* * *

><p>Hi everyone. I finished chapter 3 and it made me want to do a flashback again. Jen is like the ideal friend we all want to have, as she acts as Yoda and gives splendid life advice from her keen observational skills. Anywho. Sorry in advance for the POV switching... I think each chapter may be a different POV, it accidentally turned out that way. I prefer my 3rd person.<p>

No idea when chapter 5 will be up, it might be a while, so enjoy until next time.

Oh! And thank you to the guest reviewer who commented on this quote; ":"They always seemed to sparkle with a knowing light, as if she was always in the know to some inside joke of the universe you would never understand. It was mesmerizing." That line was by far my favorite to write. :)


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Thank you Cate Blanchett, Ellie Goulding, and the Cinderella trailers, along with the Disney cinema classic. Cinderella was a baller. Not because she snagged a hottie prince, but because she practiced compassion and forgiveness, and stayed positive against every odd. You go, glen coco. You go. Cinderella is understated in my mind, even though she's the epitome of elegance and grace, a true lady…

That's enough of a rant. On with the show.

* * *

><p>PAT PAT PAT<p>

Alison could hear her feet pounding on the pavement over her music as she navigated the all too familiar roads of Rosewood, Pennsylvania. In one of her girlfriend's Danby sweatshirt's and a pair of running shorts, the former queen bee of Rosewood made the most of her early morning by going out for a jaunt, giving herself the time and space to gather her thoughts and be on her own for a moment.

After waking up at an outrageously early 5:30am, Alison groggily turned to find her beautiful lover spooning her back. She took a moment to watch Emily, wiping hair out of her face, which in turn made the brunette grumble and eventually turn over on to her other side, making the blonde chuckle.

Alison took the moment to kiss her lover's cheek sweetly, silently peeling back the covers and stepping out of the bed to get some clothing together for a run. Alison had never been overly athletic, only really participating in athletics to either get a boy or lose a few pounds to keep that goddess of a figure. But ever since Emily and Alison had rekindled their friendship, eventually turned romantic relationship, she would join Emily at the gym or do yoga classes with her.

While Alison wasn't as athletic as her Division I athlete girlfriend, Emily enjoyed spending time together with Alison and teaching her new things. Whether it was running in the woods, lifting at the gym, or doing a yoga class, Alison had taken to exercise and gotten into the habit of going out for a run to clear her head on occasion.

As she had woken far earlier than usual, Alison quietly tiptoed through the Fields house until she snuck out the door, stretching in the still darkened morning, breathing in the cooler air deeply before turning on a running playlist and taking off down the streets of a place she once considered home… how long ago that was.

Arriving at the Field's home last night was more eventful than Alison had both anticipated and desired. Entering the house and seeing a ton of people, many of whom she had personally tortured, was not exactly how she had wanted to kick off her summer back in Rosewood. Both she and Emily knew it wasn't going to necessarily be an easy several months, but they certainly hadn't expected to deal with everybody all at once. Things were already a little more hectic than Alison had wanted.

As Alison ran deeper into town, she decided to venture through the woods she used to sneak around in and made her way back to her old house, a home filled with many memories, some of them good, most of them bad. Alison pushed harder on her run as thoughts from years ago popped up. This was going to be a hard summer.

Once the entire A saga had come to a close, Alison had a lot of baggage to sort through. It wasn't as if she had just one little skeleton in her closet. Alison Dilaurentis had a history that was stained in lies and blood. Whether it was her own mother burying her, her own personal dark deeds, or the trauma she had endured, Alison had quite a bit she needed to sort through after leaving Rosewood.

The blonde haired beauty was still just that, gorgeous and fierce, but Alison Dilaurentis was not the same girl anymore. She learned the hardest way that Karma was a far bigger bitch than she could ever hope to be. Everything Alison had done had led her to the cruel fate she was subjected to. While many people had believed the ice queen had deserved far worse, no one understood the reality of what she had truly gone through, except for maybe her girlfriend and CeCe.

Ali was raised by a mother who taught her how to concoct really good lies and this skill revealed to her that lies were the key in getting whatever she desired. She learned at a young age that knowledge, intimate knowledge, was power. You could get whatever you wanted if you knew the right facts about people. As a young girl, Alison quickly honed her skills of observation. She was already a smart and talented young lady, but keen perception made her that much sharper. By observing, you noticed details, and details led to patterns, which would eventually lead to secrets. A girl that smart raised by a woman off in her own world of lies and deception, along with a workaholic father and a disgruntled brother, left Alison unchecked to create her own entertainment. And thus, the monster was born.

Alison's heart was beating out of her chest as she practically sprinted the rest of the way to her old house, these thoughts of the past haunting her. Alison was not the type to blame other people for her problems, both a blessing and a curse in some ways. But she had come to acknowledge the world she was raised in. As she grew up, matters were only made worse when she found a mentor and friend in someone who saw a little of themselves in her. CeCe Drake took Alison under her wing, and while it took Jessica Dilaurentis much longer to catch on, others in Ali's family, such as her brother Jason, knew the dynamic of mentor and disciple was one that would lead to much bigger problems.

While CeCe Drake was also a very different girl these days, she and Ali had both discussed their past lives of mischief. Alison would have eventually learned much of the prowess CeCe had imparted on her as she had gotten older, but by CeCe taking Ali under her wing, she gave a lot of firepower to a girl too young to understand the deep ramifications of using it. The amount of damage Alison had inflicted, only to realize too late how maniacal it all really was, was catastrophic. A wasn't just someone Ali bullied a little and they pulled a return prank on her. Alison danced with the devil, and that devil only brought murder, death, lies, destruction, chaos and utter torment. With great power comes great responsibility, so they say, and while Ali was still the sharp, perceptive, observant and even manipulative person she once was, she knew one thing; every evil deed comes with a price tag.

Many people believed Ali would never change, and many still did. Perhaps that was why Emily, of all the people in the world, was the one person who loved her so deeply and whom she loved just as deeply in return. Alison had been the type of person who believed people never changed, that once a bad egg, always a bad egg. She may have even let that mentality eat her alive and destroy her if it wasn't for a little help from her remaining family and friends. Alison was a young girl who sought adventure and excitement back then, and she created it in the form of blackmail, deception and drama. That wasn't what she wanted anymore though, not for a long time. Ali lived out the dramatic adventure she had so desperately wanted as a child and she came to the clear conclusion that, while chaos may be exciting or riveting, it was ultimately destructive. Alison used to love drama, epic novels of tragedy and glory, but there were other things, other people, in her life now that were far more important and brought her true happiness and joy.

It had taken Alison time to accept the fact that she was given this second chance of life, because if A had been successful, she would have been a pile of rotting limbs. With this chance, Alison had no desire to go back to her old ways, her perception completely altered by the horrors she had suffered. As Ali read in one of her many self-growth books at the recommendation of her therapist, "You can't change who people are without destroying who they were." And it was true. As miserable as A was and as much pain as the bitch brought, Alison was grateful in some small way, because the greater evil of one bitch flipped her whole world upside down and enabled her to have a life full of happiness, love and potential, something she would have never experienced had she stayed the course of her pre-A lifestyle. The old Alison, a girl with a lust for power and chaos, an insecure girl, was no more. A had battled Alison, and in destroying who she was, she enabled her to be the person she was meant to be.

Alison slowed her pace down to a walk, breathing heavily and holding her arms up in the air to assist her lungs, realizing she had pushed herself a bit hard this morning. The sun was rising and sending rays through the woods, dew on the trees and herbage surrounding her. Ali walked slowly to finish her trek, coming up to the edge of the clearing, only to be met with an empty lot.

"Jesus…" Alison said quietly to herself.

In the midst of her racing thoughts this morning, she had completely forgotten the reality that her house was no longer there, her father having the place demoed before they relocated to ensure no other secrets would be lingering under the floorboards. As Alison walked around the clearing, she felt tears come to her eyes. Sometimes it was hard for her to acknowledge everything that she had gone through, and seeing that everything from those days in Rosewood, including her house, was now gone, it was startling. She hadn't seen the post-demo product, and looking at the barren land was rather jarring.

Ali went over towards the edge of the clearing again, looking until she found a stump to help her stretch out. As she stretched, she felt her breath hitch, and began crumbling onto the ground, her feelings getting the better of her. She leaned her back against the stump as she sat down, her lithe hands covering her face as she began to sob uncontrollably.

"Pull yourself together Dilaurentis, it hasn't even been 24 hours yet," she said to herself as the tears flooded her hands.

Ali and Emily had had a long talk before considering going to Rosewood for the summer, and it was surprising that Emily had been the one who didn't want to go back home, having thought going to the beach for the summer with a few of their Danby friends might be the better option. Alison, however, understood that she needed to go home and face Rosewood, and with the support of her therapist, she told Emily it was something they both needed to do. The only way to truly move on and let go would be to face the fear head on.

Sitting on the dirt and sobbing her eyes out was not how Alison thought she would be starting this summer vacation, but that was part of the journey she supposed. This was a test she wanted to give herself. You can take the girl out of Rosewood, but could Ali take Rosewood out of the girl? As a competitive and strong willed woman, the blonde wanted to see if she could live in the place that had helped her dark side fester and grow. She wanted Emily to be able to see her family and wanted their friends to finally be in the know of their relationship and be okay with it overall. Even though everything ended two years ago, there was still healing to be done. It was amazing how time could fly and old wounds could remain and become forgotten. Alison had consistently worked on learning to forgive herself, but now the real battle and test was to see if she could handle the reality that other people may never forgive her or see her differently. That was the reality of hurting others. Some forgave, some hated, some moved on but never trusted again. It was a gamble, no matter how much you grew or changed in the aftermath.

Wiping up the last of her tears, the blonde leaned her head back and looked up at the beautifully blue, morning sky. Alison could feel every part of her body staring up at the shifting clouds... and she felt gratitude pour through. She was a different girl these days. Still a princess, a diva, cunning, manipulative, a true bitch when necessary… but those moments were far and few in between. She was happy now, and as painful as this summer already was, she knew if she wanted to reach the full extents of her happiness, facing this last blast from the past was going to be a necessary feat.

The blonde took a deep breath and adjusted her ponytail, sitting forward and standing, walking her legs out a little before starting up a jog again. She ran by the Hastings house and picked up speed, ready to head back to the warmth of the Field's home and be in the presence of those who she now considered family.

* * *

><p>BEEP BEEP BEEP<p>

"Rmph.."

Emily groggily turned under her covers, her arm reaching out until it found it's destination in the form of her alarm clock. Emily snoozed the alarm, grumbling into her pillow as she attempted to accept waking. She rolled over towards the center of the bed, her arm on another journey to find the warm body she normally snuggled with every day. As Emily's arm felt around the bed, she found it empty and cold, making her brows furrow as she opened her eyes slightly, looking for messy blonde hair and finding nothing in return.

Emily grunted into her pillow, turning onto her back as she rubbed her eyes. She looked over to see it was just after 9:30am, and she sighed at her schedule being thrown off.

"_Oh well,"_ she thought, knowing she didn't start work at a local summer camp for another two weeks.

Emily pushed herself up and looked around her room, smiling softly at its contents. She couldn't believe how infrequently she saw it these days, but she supposed that was part of growing up. Letting go of the old, and accepting the recent and new.

"Hahaha!"

Emily smiled at the loud giggles she heard from downstairs. She wondered how long her lover had been awake and discussing only god knows what with her mother. Still, the brunette couldn't complain, as her mother had taken quite some time in adjusting to Alison being her girlfriend.

She sighed as she kicked off her covers, stretching soundly as she exited her bedroom and tiptoed down the steps to assess the situation.

As Emily entered the kitchen, her mom caught her eye, but Emily held a finger to her lips to keep her quiet, Emily sneaking up behind her girlfriend silently. She noticed girlfriend was in running attire, realizing Alison must have been restless and up early, needing a run to clear her mind. Normally Ali joined Emily on physical activities and it was rare that Ali went off on her own. But once in a while, she caught her girlfriend going off on her own to blow off some steam, and it made her smile internally.

"And of course you know how Jen can get-"

Emily circled her arms around Alison in the midst of her story, the blonde slightly surprised but smiling as she rested her palms on Emily's arms. Emily kissed her cheek as Ali continued her story about another one of their ridiculous adventures from this last semester, then resting her chin on Ali's shoulder as she listened. Pam smiled softly at the pair. Even though it had been a rough start for Mama Fields in the beginning of the girls' relationship, Pam had come around and appreciated seeing them in moments like this; simply relaxed and full of joy and ease.

"I just can't believe Jen got away with it. When her, Lauren and CeCe get together, it is outrageous what they come up with," Alison finished with a chuckle, Pam laughing in return.

"Was this the story about them stealing that weird good luck trinket from the Dean's office this semester?"

"Ohh, yea," Ali said, smirking as she turned her head towards Emily, looking into her eyes with a knowing smile and giving her a good morning kiss. Emily chuckled.

"Well, as much as I love Jennifer, that girl comes up with some crazy ideas," Pam said with a look.

Ali and Em both laughed in response, Emily disentangling from Ali, going over to her mother for a hug.

"Morning mom."

"Oh, morning hunny."

Emily and her mother weren't always the huggiest and touchiest of people, but being back home made Emily miss her mother and father dearly. She wanted to take up as much time with them as she could.

Emily pulled back, giving her mom a small smile before looking around the counter.

"Did you guys eat breakfast already?"

"Alison was up before 6, so I made her something when she got back from running. We waited but you slept later than usual today sweetie."

Emily nodded slowly, turning back to her girlfriend with an amused and questioning look, Alison picking up on the question her face was posing.

"I think I went to bed too early, I was out like a light and had a nice deep sleep," Ali said, nodding in response. "Sorry I set the alarm a bit late, I figured you might need it."

"It's okay."

Pam watched the interaction, and could tell the girls needed some time to connect. She was happy that she had developed a relationship with Alison where she could essentially consider her another daughter, something she fully believed was going to happen through marriage in due time.

When Ali had returned from her run, Pam had a chance to check in with her and cook her up a meal, the blonde looking a little worn and stressed out. Part of the reason Alison and Pam had been able to grow closer was due to the fact Ali needed a strong and loving maternal figure in her life, and Pam, being the ever sympathetic woman these days, chose to forgive the young blonde on behalf of her daughter, allowing them the opportunity to grow much like a family would.

After Alison returned from her run and vented to someone she considered to be her future mother-in-law, Pam realized the party had been well intended, but also a bit of a blindside. Mama Fields had been under the assumption that her daughter had told her friends about her relationship, as it was coming up on two years this winter. Alison explained how the entire night, though a wonderful and thoughtful surprise, had been a bit emotional because the girls had yet to cross the bridge of informing their friends.

"Well ladies, I'm going to head upstairs to take care of a few things and then head to the store. Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

"Sure mom."

Pam gave a small smile, the same one Emily had inherited, as she exited the kitchen, giving her daughter's shoulder a small squeeze on the way out.

Emily watched her go and then sighed, her face turning back to her girlfriend with a smile.

"Do I want to know?" Emily asked, slight exasperation in her tone.

Alison chuckled, walking over to throw her arms over Em's shoulders, kissing her more soundly and deeply.

"You'll be happy about this talk, I promise."

"I doubt that."

"I got her to give up on the blowup mattress."

Emily clutched Ali's upper arms, pushing her back as her brows furrowed in disbelief.

"I don't believe you."

Ali smiled, her eyes looking towards the ceiling as they heard rustling and dragging going on upstairs, Emily realizing her mom was probably dragging the large box out of her bedroom and back into a closet.

She turned back to Ali's smug blue eyes.

"You brainwashed her," Emily said, drawing up the only logical conclusion she could think of, making Alison chuckle even louder than before as she pulled Emily in for a long and necessary hug, missing her morning snuggles.

"You underestimate my effect on people, especially women in the Fields family."

"I doubt you charm my mother the way you charm me," Emily said into Ali's shoulder, until she pulled back again with a questioning look.

"Unless you are using the same charm?"

Ali pulled back with a faux shocked look, slapping her girlfriend's upper arm gently, making Emily laugh.

"I'm teasing. But seriously, how did you do it? She refused to even let me discuss it with her when we talked."

"I have my ways," Ali replied coyly, Emily responding with a pointed eyebrow. The girls held no secrets between one another anymore, and Ali sighed at being held accountable.

"Though the whole surprise party and my emotional ramblings this morning may have helped our cause."

"Emotional ramblings?"

Ali's face became a bit more serious as she looked at Emily.

"Yea… I ran this morning and… and I went by my house. Or what was my house."

Emily watched her lover, her face growing sympathetic, understanding how hard this summer was going to be for Ali, for both of them really.

When Alison had first proposed the idea of returning home one last summer before they were stationed in an apartment for the next several years until Ali graduated, Emily was incredibly resistant.

Maybe it was because Emily knew they were in a secure and stable bubble at Danby. They had friends who loved them both, had immeasurable amounts of fun, were completely in love, and were just generally happy. Happiness was something Alison and Emily had, through several years of torture, learned to appreciate in every moment of every day.

There was a quote Emily had heard right after she made it to Danby and Jen had turned her on to the Dalai Lama, that went;

"_Man.__  
><em>_Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.__  
><em>_Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.__  
><em>_And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present;__  
><em>_the result being that he does not live in the present or the future;__  
><em>_he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived."_

After the A saga, Emily and Ali both knew that time and life were precious, and neither of them wanted to waste anymore time having never really lived. They were content in their life together, and even though they knew baggage from the past might interfere with that, they were resolute on not letting it come between them. There was no time to waste by going backwards.

Emily walked closer to her girlfriend, Ali leaning on her forearms and ducking her head as she took some breaths. Emily stood by her side, rubbing her back before going to massage her neck gently, something she knew the blonde loved when she was tense.

"I was running through the woods and before I knew it, I was planning on just going to my old house. I even thought of breaking and entering if no one was there," Alison said, chuckling lightly.

"I completely forgot it's gone. I can't believe it's been almost two years."

"Me either," Emily replied quietly, her own mind wandering.

"I used to love hiding things in there. There were so many nooks and crannies. My mom would get so mad when she found something she had been looking for in one of my spots," Ali said, chuckling at the memory, her chin resting on her hands now as she stared out.

Emily knew it was hard for Alison at times. The blonde had a tact for finding out peoples secrets, for getting to the truth of a person. But if there was one person she had wished she could have gotten the truth from, any form of closure really, it was her mother.

Alison sighed again as Emily continued to rub her back and neck, taking a moment.

"I'm sorry this is so hard for you," Emily said.

"I wish I could make it better."

Alison lip quirked as she leaned up off of the counter. She stared into Emily's big brown eyes, off in their own world. Ali smiled as she slowly leaned in, cupping her cheek and kissing her softly.

"You already do Em. Just being with me, it makes everything easier."

Emily's brown orbs shot back to look into Alison's stormy blue ones.

STOMP STOMP STOMP

"Girls! I'm heading to the store now! Text me if you think of anything you might want for snacks or dinner this week!"

"Okay mom!"

The girls pulled back, listening as Pam finished walking down the steps and exited the house. Emily let out a breath she didn't realize she was even holding.

"I'm sorry I went to bed so early last night by the way. I was so drained," Alison said as she mosied around the kitchen, going to pour Emily some orange juice.

"No, it's good that you did. Yesterday felt like a week in one day. I still can't believe we packed everything up and moved, let alone had a party last night."

"How did it turn out, after I went to bed?" Alison asked as she gave Emily the orange juice, taking a sip of her own water.

"Uh… it wasn't too bad. I spoke with Spencer and Aria, and they were actually pretty calm about everything."

Alison watched Emily carefully, picking up on what Emily was not saying.

"And Hanna?"

"She…" Emily watched Ali, knowing the blonde could see through anything she said, as much as she tried to sugar coat the truth.

"She obviously wasn't thrilled."

"What did she say?"

"I don't think it's a good idea-"

"Em. I knew what I was getting into coming home for the summer. And Hanna…. Hanna I probably hurt more than any of you. So just… just tell me."

Emily sighed as she ran a hand through her hair, folding her arms as she thought back to her not so civil conversation with Hanna.

"She basically accused you of everything anyone else has. You ruined our lives, I'm blind for not seeing that and being with you, that you orchestrated moving close to Danby. She's still angry."

"She has every right to be."

"Well, she's angry with me too now because I'm the one who kept it from her."

Alison paused for a minute, nodding in response. She knew it wouldn't be easy as pie returning, that some people were still going to be angry with her.

"Aria and Spencer were okay though."

Alison snorted.

"Spencer was? I find that hard to believe."

"She said something to me once… when we were all at the theatre in New York. You fell asleep, and Spencer was talking about how she didn't want to go back to being the person she once was… I just said that you felt the same. None of us want to go back there."

Alison could feel the guilt seeping through her. It was her fault that her friends were dragged into the mess with A, the motivations of a monster due to her own actions and her family's deeply hidden secrets.

"Don't even go there, Ali," Emily said, startling Ali out of her thoughts of blame.

"It wasn't your fault," Emily whispered as she pulled the smaller girl into a hug, Alison took deep breaths, refusing to cry for a second time that day.

"Maybe we should have stayed away… just thinking about all of this again, Jesus."

"We'll be fine. Hanna will take some time, but she'll come around. She's just hurt, by me as well."

Alison pulled back, giving a small smile, feeling only slightly relieved. Emily knew her lover was not going to become less tense any time soon. Unless….

Emily started unzipping her Danby hoodie on Ali's body, Alison looking at her with big eyes.

"Em?"

"Shh."

Emily peeled it off her sweaty body as she closed in on her girlfriend, her mouth wrapping itself around her creamy smooth neck. Ali's breath hitched while Emily maneuvered her back into the kitchen counter.

"Fuck, Em."

Before Ali knew it, she was down to a bra and panties, Emily making swift work of her clothes.

"Your parents could walk in," Alison mumbled in between kisses, Emily lifting her up onto the counter, grabbing her tush and pulling her tightly against her.

"We have plenty of time."

"Em-"

"Shh!" the brunette replied, her hands wandering all over Alison's back, finger moving to let her hair down.

She paused in her kissing to look at Alison.

"No more talking."

Ali caught the feral look in Emily's eyes and knew there was no stopping this train. She grinned and brought their lips crashing back together as Emily heatedly raked her hands over every inch of the blonde's body before slowly descending downwards to give Ali a fantastic restart to her morning…

* * *

><p>Hey guys! I'm sorry about the sex tease, I promise to have some fun sex scenes and romantic sensual sex scenes in this story. I just wanted to get this chapter up, it's been sitting unfinished for a few weeks now and figured it better to give you guys something than keep you waiting!

Sorry for all of the delays. I cannot wait for summer! Ahaha. And honestly, for season 5 to be over because it has not been bringing this girl any inspiration since 5A really.

I hope you're all well, thank you for reading and reviewing. Leave comments about different things you might be interested in me exploring. This fic is really going to be about summer fun, a LOT of necessary healing and growing, and ideas along those lines. I love me some drama with Hanna and may even throw some Paige drama in there, but not too much, Paige is so overdone in my opinion. But if you have interesting ideas feel free to comment and I'll see how I feel about it and what I can do.

Anyway, thank you darlings! :D


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